Love Spoke So Much Louder

She shimmied her jeans up twisting and turning to get them over hips expanded by two babies born, two babies in heaven and years of yo-yo dieting. Her sides streaked by cream colored marks against her tan skin. I sat on the bed knees pulled to my chest and I thought her beautiful. It never crossed my mind that my mom might not think the same thing about herself.

She died when I was twelve and the memories I have of her are faded and worn around the edges. I'm a mama myself now and I look at my own wider-than-they-once-were hips and I sigh deep about what once was. I know that she must have done the same as she wrestled those jeans up over her backside.

I remember the day she had lost enough weight to shop at the non-plus-size stores. We went to the mall for a mini-shopping spree. It was the mid-nineties and the Gap was everything. She bought a jean jumper and a sleeveless turtleneck sweater and it was as if she could have been Friends with Rachel and Monica. I had never seen her look like such a cool mom.

But there again I never heard my mom's struggle with her outer appearance. She never said, "Oh, I'm so fat!" or "I wish I was as pretty as {insert whoever}" or "I hate this about me." Her struggle was silent though I realize now there must have been an internal battle raging.

We all knew that girl in high school (or confession time...maybe we were that girl?) who always said things like, "Ugh, I am just.so.fat." when she couldn't have weighed more than a buck ten. My mom struggled with her weight her whole life and I am reasonably certain she would have wanted to slap that girl silly, but I digress.

Our words matter. How we speak about the way we see ourselves reflects our understanding of how God sees us. Some of us have deep scars that have to do with our physical bodies. Some of our wounds have been inflicted by other people. Some of our deepest cuts have been made by words spoken to our reflection in the mirror. Some of us are still fighting a battle with beauty that rages in our everyday.

I'm sharing the rest of this story over at Velvet Ashes today and I'm offering this up as part of my 31 Days of Chasing Light series. God created us unique in all our imperfections and yes, there are things that we would like to change and some that we actually can change, but sometimes we just need to rest in the beauty that God has given us. The kind of light and beauty that radiates from our hands and soul. 

If you haven't gotten a chance click back over to Sunday's post and enter to win a copy of Emily P. Freeman's book A Million Little Ways. 

Photo Credit: davedehetre via Compfight cc

When You Think Your Work Doesn't Matter to God {Day 21}

I once went to a week long basketball camp at a university several hours away from home. I didn't even make it onto my jr. high team the following year. It broke my heart. Now I realize that some of you are snickering at this point because you know me in real life and realize I don't quite hit the 5' mark. All I will say is; Muggsy Bogues. Google him.

I went on to be a decent athlete in high school as a volleyball player- yes, another sport known for players with height- and cheerleading. Petite, spunky and loud, cheerleading was my sweet spot.

Truthfully my lackluster athletic career isn't the point of this post. No, my point is a lot of us spend a lot of time and energy on things that drain us of life. We chase after things that we just weren't made to do and suffer disappointment after disappointment trying to fit into someone else's mold.

One of the things that my husband is so amazing at is encouraging people to see their vocations as a means of Gospel work. Do you have a mind for business? Do you have practical mechanical skills? What is it that you do that God can use for your good and His glory?

There is a bit of a misnomer in the Christian world that to be affective in ministry you need to have letters like MDiv and Phd following your name. I have many friends who do and I am astounded at their knowledge and ability to share with others. But I also have some pretty amazing friends who are artists, nurses, counselors, dancers, mechanics, farmers, stay at home moms, writers, dentists, cosmetologists, engineers, pilots {and on and on} and I can't imagine God doesn't have vast and amazing uses for each of them to bring about His purposes.

When God created you He did so with purpose. He didn't just take the remnants of His palette and throw some paint on a canvas. No, He specially chose the shades and medium to make you into who you are; His unique creation in His image.

What you do with your two hands matters to God. Find a way to use it for His glory and you will come alive as you experience His presence in your work.

My husband will squeeze trips overseas into his work schedule this year so that He can work on water and sanitation projects, encourage the international church and plant seeds of the Gospel. He gets that His work matters. He believes that your work matters too.

Part of chasing light is seeing how God has made you and embracing the intricacy and following His call to use your skills wherever they lead, even to the ends of the earth.

Do you believe that your work matters? How have you seen God use what you do in daily life for His purposes? 

Don't forget to enter to win a copy of Emily Freeman's A Million Little Ways! I'll announce the winner on Friday.

For Those of You Who Don't Think You're Creative

She layers paint and squirts glitter glue and I look at her sideways to see her grin. She is creating. She probably won't be the next Matisse, but in this moment with her face streaked every shade of paint on her palette one thing is evident; she is an artist. 

I found the term "chasing light" one day when I was googling how to take better photos. I'm a notoriously terrible photographer with aspirations of greatness- even if it is only taking photos of my kids or random shots of stuff around my house for blog post.

All the great photographers know how to catch light in their frames. Their shots are pure reflection of the light surrounding their subjects. Ansel Adams black and whites stun us because even in their monochromatic scheme we see light changing and shifting. It is beauty undeniable.

My gift is not fine art. I can draw a solid stick figure but that is about it. My mom wouldn't let me take dance so my both my feet are still lefties. I love to craft, but I am far from a perfectionist and that comes out in my failed attempts at most pinteresty projects.

Some of you are reading this and you're thinking you aren't creative. You are thinking you see the world in black and whites without a whole lot of variation. I would argue your art is your passion not your ability in any given thing.

We have this amazing creator God who fashioned us from dust, seeing the potential in the most base things. I am certain that there is something in your life that makes you come alive and our gifts vary from teaching children to engineering jet planes to stirring a pot of soup. We are creators begot by the Creator and we see life in a million different places unique to each one of us. 

We invite the Light of God into our lives when we explore things that awaken us to His creative hand in our lives. We're creative beings not because we made a crazy hard wreath we pinned or built our house using entirely recycled barn wood.

We're creative beings because our Maker possesses unlimited creativity. 

My sweet little girl is an artist not because she has potential to attend the Art Institute of Chicago, but because the image of God, in all His wondrous creativity, is imprinted on her very soul.

{In case you missed the GIVEAWAY of  a signed copy of Emily P. Freeman's A Million Little Ways from yesterday click back over and leave a comment about what makes you come alive. I'll choose a winner on Friday!}

  

Resources for the Light Chasers {Vol. 6 + a Giveaway!}

I eluded to it on Friday, but this week we're going to talk about what it is to reflect the Light of the one in whose image we're created. Last year, after reading Emily P. Freeman's book A Million Little Ways, I was deeply inspired by the notion that life is meant to be lived open handed to the unique way God has created me and gifted me to create in my own way.

I want you to be inspired in the same way so I'm happy to give a reader a signed copy of Emily's book. It will encourage, inspire and challenge you to embrace the art you were uniquely made to live. Just make sure to keep your copy away from your toddler...ask me how I know {see above photo}.

To enter leave a comment about the unique art that is you! What makes you come alive?

Is it serving others? Is it your ability to solve problems? Is it attention to detail? Is it wielding a paintbrush? Whatever it is, share it. I'll choose a winner on Friday!

Putting Down Roots {+ A Giveaway from Red Letter Words}

I was the fifth generation to live on Quarry Rd. A quiet country road right outside of a one stoplight town in the Eastern Piedmont of North Carolina. Tobacco growing country that my family had farmed as long as anyone could remember.

I lived across from my grandparents and my great-grandmother and I don't know of anyone in my ancestry that didn't live in North Carolina. My roots in the old North State go deep.

It was quite the boat rocking moment when I decided to move to Georgia for my freshmen year of college. I then moved to the North Carolina hills and that is where I've chosen to dig my roots as an adult, even if they are somewhat superficial because of our travels. 

I've traveled tons, lived on African red clay and like to fancy what it would be like to be a West Coast gal, but I always come home to the land of the long leaf pine. Though we come back to North Carolina as home we are always poised on the edge of going to a new place or pursuing an open door for service that could take us anywhere.

I didn't worry about it a whole lot until we had our first child. Then I began to think about the short walk across the road to my great-grandmother's house and Herbert's flea market full of ancient treasures at the crossroads of our town. Herbert was a picker before being a picker was cool. I thought about stopping at Bob's store for a SunDrop and a honeybun with my dad on the way to the trash dump on Saturday mornings.

I have wondered and wrestled with this lack of real roots and how it will affect our daughter. I worry that she won't feel connected or have a sense of place and that at some point that will breed resentment toward myself and her daddy.

There. I said it. 

My daughter is a unique child and I am certain that God placed her and made her in a way to fit our family's very different way of living. I'm confident that God has done the same for your family if He has called you to life overseas. But that doesn't mean that I'm not conscientious about the way that all of the back and forth and up and down of our life affects her. Because it does.

I'm sharing my fears and the rest of the story over at Velvet Ashes. Join me over there and enter to win this gorgeous "She Knew" canvas from Red Letter Words!

Learning To Share {+ a Mother's Day Giveaway From The Vintage Honey Shop}

Motherhood is learning to share all over again. 

Maybe really it is learning that we've never really known how to share fully. 

I'll never forget the first night at home with our daughter, the girl who never slept, when my husband red-eyed looked at me and said "I can't do six weeks of this" as he vigorously rocked our newborn.

Somewhere along the line in baby book reading and childbirth prep he had gathered the idea that the inconsolable crying and sleepless nights would magically go away in six weeks. First time parents. Oh to be so innocent again.

It's funny now. I shake my head, close my eyes and I belly laugh because I hardly recognize that man and woman worn out and wondering what they'd gotten themselves into with their new daughter at 3am.

Teething necklaces from The Vintage Honey Shop are intended for adults to wear only.

It was a few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon- the time of the week in the Hoover home that is unarguably devoted to naps for all. Once again the wee girl was in an all out revolt against sleep and so while mama tried to nap she jumped on my stomach, asked to watch Aristocats forty billion times and tried to open my tired eyes by pulling my eyelashes out one by one.

I capitulated moment to moment during that sleepless afternoon between crazy anger at the wide awake toddler and head over heels love for the tiny girl whose breath tickled my ear with each "I love you, mama."

We think that learning to share is the work of childhood. We grow up and we learn social cues and how to get along in an acceptable way in our day to day with others. Then these little people barrel their way into the our worlds and make us share in ways that are uncomfortable.

We share our bodies. We share our personal space. We share our lunch even when they have the same thing on their plate. We share our hearts and they are wrenched and wrung out by our own flesh and blood. We share in knowing a teeny tiny bit what it must be like for God to love us. 

There are evenings that I collapse on the couch unable to do one.more.thing. in the name of keeping someone else alive. I flip on Netflix and realize that every thing that has been on today was animated and meant for the under five crowd. You know you're a mama when all your suggested programming contains a cartoon animal. 

We share until it can feel like there is little left to give and then from somewhere deep we find a well that pours out more. We tip up the pitcher and we pour it out and find that somehow in our weariness there is a bit more to give, just enough to share.

Then there is this one day a year designated "Mother's Day". The day that they will make us breakfast in bed and sign cards in magic marker covered with goopy painted handprints. We will clean up the messes of that day too and share it with tiny people that have made our life harder and sweeter.

Because no matter what the parenting books say...Sharing is hard. 

My mama always had a chocolate bar in her purse and I've always had a sweet tooth the size of Rhode Island. I knew better than to fish it out for myself, but my mama (whose sweet tooth made mine look tiny) would open it slowly, the silver paper reflecting my grin, and she'd break off a piece for me.

Who knows the last time she ate a candy bar in silence without my hazel eyes begging at her knee. I realize now that my mama was broken open body and soul when she became my mama.

Motherhood breaks pieces of us off and somehow there is always enough to go around when Jesus is the one filling our baskets. 

The sharing can be pure joy. A brownie batter covered spoon licked clean by little boys who'll wield them like a musketeer's sword. Wakeful nights shared with a nursling who can't get enough snuggles with mama. The laughter peeling from a wrestling match turned tickle fight turned family hug all before someone gets a bloody lip.

The hard moments. The why-won't-you-sleep-moments? The sweeter-than-chocolate-cake moments.  Every single shared moment that makes us mothers. Every single moment that turns us inside out, breaks us apart and remakes us into mothers who give, love, hope, dream and share with everything we have.

Cup your hands mama-sister. Turn your face up to the gifts of God and raise your empty and you'll find there is more than enough to share. Take courage. Sharing is hard but always worth it.

I'm so glad to be learning to share all over again with you. 

Happy {early} Mother's Day!

Oh, and I have one more thing...a surprise {giveaway} to share!

Today I'm giving away a beautiful gift for mama and baby to share. Jen & Mel over at The Vintage Honey Shop are giving away a teething necklace ($20 value) to one of my readers. I have a standard new mama/baby gift and each one includes one of their teething necklaces and now a copy of Lisa-Jo Baker's Surprised by Motherhood. Don't everyone invite me to their baby shower at once.

Teething necklaces from The Vintage Honey Shop are intended for adults to wear only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don't believe my love for The Vintage Honey Shop's wears? Here I am a year and half ago rockin' my own. Praise the Lord Millie has grown more hair! I still wear it even though my sweet girl isn't teething or nursing anymore because...look at it! It's gorgeous!

100 Ways You Know You’re A Mom {Guest Post from Lisa-Jo Baker + a Giveaway}

You know how I know I’m a mom? I’ve had a gallon of coffee today and I still feel tired because of a toddler who is adjusting to a new room and thinks that 6am is prime time to sing-scream the word “Mama” forty billion times. That right there my friends is love…or mutiny…I’m still not sure.

I also know I’m a mom because I get up for her every.single.time.
 
Lisa-Jo Baker, author of Surprised By Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom knows 100 other ways that we are reminded in the extraordinary ordinary of the everyday that we are mamas through and through. I’m over the moon to have her over here in my corner of the web sharing those 100 ways today.

Also, Surprised By Motherhood, is pretty much my standard baby shower gift now. A copy of the book and a teething necklace from The Vintage Honey Shop {Hint Hint: I might just be giving away one of those pieces of beauty on the blog tomorrow- cue the squealing!} are the perfect gift. Don’t everyone invite me to their shower at once.

Here are the hundred ways and counting that we know that we are mamas as lived and tested by Lisa-Jo.

BONUS: Read to the end and leave your own comment adding to the list of ways that you know you’re a mom and be entered to win one of three custom book plates {pictured below} to add to your copy of Surprised by Motherhood signed by sweet Lisa-Jo. 

I've learned three things about motherhood in the last nine years. Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is glorious. And motherhood is very hard. Nothing. Nothing can properly capture a window into a mother's world. So much magic, so much mundane, so much heartache. But this is my little attempt to keep track of the whirligig of wonder that makes up any mother's days. And nights. And years.

100 Ways You Know You're a Mom

1. You are pretty much embarrassment-proof.
2. A trip to the grocery store alone is your idea of a spontaneous getaway.
3. You buy enough milk on a weekly basis to sponsor an entire dairy farm.
4. When you put on make up the kids get excited that you're all going out.
5. If you don't change the toilet paper roll, it doesn't get changed.
6. You can't remember what the words "personal space" mean.
7. You use photo shop for removing boogers more than for removing blemishes.
8. You wash the same load of laundry at least twice before you remember to empty it.
9. You know the names of all of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

10. You consider Goldfish crackers a food group.

11. You can't remember a time when you didn't drive a minivan.
12. Lugging the baby carrier is your idea of a workout.
13. You listen to your kids' favorite tunes even when you're driving by yourself.
14. You have a love-hate relationship with The Wiggles.
15. You can't remember the last time you ate a meal while it was still hot.
16. You can cry in a Huggies commercial.
17. You were a sobbing mess after the Surprised by Motherhood trailer.
18. You are an expert at cutting gum out of hair.
19. You've had in depth conversations about the pros and cons of a Hello Kitty vs Minnie Mouse back pack.

20. You wish there was drive through everything.

21. You can do 18 things all at the same time.
22. You consider going to the bathroom by yourself the height of luxury.
23. You can change a diaper in the pitch dark.
24. You know how badly stepping on a piece of Lego can hurt.
25. A business trip by yourself feels like a vacation.
26. You have an entire Pinterest board full of crafts you will never get around to actually doing.
27. You forget the names of your children.
28. You lose the will to live at the thought of putting everyone to bed. Again.
29. Your kids ask you what the iron is for.

30. You save lives on a daily basis.

31. You take it personally when strangers don't wave back to your baby.
32. You spend more on carpet cleaning products than make up.
33. You actually own a product called KIDS N PETS Stain and Odor Remover.
34. Your husband tells you it isn't worth buying anything nice until the kids move out to college.
35. You cry with happiness when one of your children consents to eating broccoli.
36. You tell yourself pizza has all the food groups.
37. Some days you just want to quit motherhood.
38. You haven't slept in a decade.
39. You have clothes in every size under the sun.
40. You consider TGIF fine dining.

41. You obsess over whether or not you remembered to sign that permission slip.

42. Your love is so ferocious it scares you sometimes.
43. There is often an extra tiny person sleeping in your bed.
44. Coffee is one of your love languages.
45. You will never ever be able to sort, process or print all the photos you take.
46. You didn't know you were capable of this kind of courage.
47. You would rather have someone help you with the laundry than anything else in the world.
48. You know the names and super powers of every, single Marvel character ever created.
49. You loathe happy meal toys.

50. Your kisses have magical, healing properties.

51. You feel naked if you leave the house without Cheerios.
52. You wish they had GPS for kids.
53. You aren't afraid of anything.
54. You're afraid of everything.
55. You have sung the same song a trillion times.
56. You have several story books memorized.
57. You have an entire macaroni art collection and couldn't be prouder of it.
58. You cook as much with the play kitchen as the real one.
59. The curl at the nape of your baby's neck can leave you undone.

60. Your Instagram stream reads like a love letter to your children.

61. Your "desk" is surrounded by a constant stream of my little ponies, Darth Vadar and candy wrappers.
62. Your idea of luxury is when someone else unloads the dishwasher.
63. You daydream about a land where women go to the bathroom alone and don't have to narrate what they're doing in there.
64. This book makes you cry. Every single time.
65. You have made s'more on a campfire and on the kitchen stove.
66. You've convinced your kids that vacuuming is a "game."
67. Some days watching them is like seeing your heart do somersaults outside your body.
68. You don't want a how-to book about motherhood, you need a me-too story.
69. You didn't know T-Ball could be more exciting than the World Series.

70. Super glue is your best friend. So is chocolate.

71. Cereal is a breakfast, lunch, and dinner kind of food at your house.
72. About the last thing sofas are for is sitting on.
73. Your computer keyboard has permanent marker scribbled on it.
74. You loathe having to match socks.
75. Some days you're tempted to take off running after the ice cream truck.
76. You think Chuck E Cheese is the unhappiest place on earth.
77. Cutting a tiny person's finger nails terrifies you.
78. You worry that Flintstones vitamins are the only thing standing between your kids and scurvy.
79. You've Googled the phrase, "how to get Desitin out of the carpet."

80. You constantly get calls from the neighbor that you've left the car door open. Again.

81. You carry spare lollipops in your purse.
82. By "purse" you actually mean "diaper bag."
83. Your kids use your smart phone more than you do.
84. You know the precise shape sandwiches should be cut up into.
85. You are more excited to introduce your boys to one of your favorite movies than when you watched it the first time yourself.
86. You and your daughter cry, laugh and bond over popcorn and Anne of Green Gables.
87. You think you can cut hair.
88. You discover you can't actually cut hair.
89. You take a camera to photograph and then scrapbook someone else cutting your kid's hair.

90. Having kids has taught you how to love and be loved like nothing else on earth.

91. You do more multitasking in an average day than any CEO.
92. You've clocked hundreds of miles of carpooling.
93. Your body is soft in all the right places and perfect for comforting and cuddling.
94. You know that you are more than your swimsuit.
95. You pray. About everything. Because you've learned you can hardly control anything.
96. There is a fierce tiger living inside of you.
97. Your job description could fill an entire book.
98. Each day you get to unwrap more of the unexpected gifts of the ordinary.
99. You are deeply loved.
100. You love deeper than today and further than tomorrow.

Go ahead, pass it on - encourage another mom! But kindly please don't re-post this entire list, just share a few bullets and then link back over here. Thank you. Brave, wonderful, you. {Some affiliate links used to a few of my favorites in this list}
{To see the video reminder of why mothers are braver than they know, click here}. This guest post comes with love from Lisa-Jo Baker to our community in celebration of Mother's Day. If you haven't already - treat yourself, your mom, your sister, your BFF or your grandma to a copy of her new book, Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom. No matter what stage you're in when it comes to motherhood, we promise it will encourage. And remind you that you are braver than you think.

Why We Can Say "Yes" In Our Mess + Rhinestone Jesus Giveaway

We've moved 8 times in 8 1/2 years.

We will move one more time in a month and a half- yes, we did just move this past week. Don't ask.

We've moved houses. We've moved areas. We've moved continents and back.

It's been glorious and miserable. It's been a "yes" to God that has been fought for in the hard places of our soul.

The only thing that hasn't changed in these 8 1/2 years is our hope. James tells us that God just simply doesn't change. He doesn't move zip codes. He's keeping the same P.O. Box for eternity.

That is why I can type these words from the other side of the screen and say that my "yes" to God has been messy. Shot full of holes from the reality of being a broken person in a busted up world. There have been times when I barely whispered "yes" because my heart was screaming "no". Somehow God managed to hear the "yes" and hush the "no".

Right now we are walking through one of those times. I have struggled to feel peace about big decisions, trajectory changing decisions, and it wasn't until I stumbled into a section of Kristen Welch's new book Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly Safe Faith Is No Longer Enough that God opened my eyes to His remarkable faithfulness to my now.

"My husband is being faithful to the now. And his obedience isn't small in God's eyes. I like how author and blogger Holley Gerth puts it: "What you're doing isn't small if it's what God has for you. It's big . And it just may lead to something bigger."

I needed to here those words at the exact moment I read them.

He really doesn't care if our flesh flares up at us and tries to tell Him "NO!" He can turn our "NO!" into a "yes" and I've seen Him do it in my life. That "yes" is usually a daily "yes" in the ordinary and I'd be a fool to believe God wasn't going to use it for something gloriously extraordinary.

I love watching God do this in other people's lives. How in our kicking and screaming He can bring us to a place of quiet willingness and do magnificently beautiful things with all our little pieces.

Sometimes we've said "no" for so long we don't even know how to start to say "yes".

Do you want what you do in your day to day to matter? Are you looking to find a way to take your ordinary and in the hands of God watch it soar to the extraordinary? Is the neat and tidy church-on-Sunday kind of faith wearing thin and disappointing?  

Kristen Welch of We Are THAT Family has written a stunner of a book. Rhinestone Jesus is her journey to saying "yes" to God and the wild adventure of faith that put her on. She has written a book for all of us who think that our dreams have been buried beneath laundry, diapers and the day to day.

This book isn't just Kristen's story of how God worked in her life, but a bold invitation to believe that God can use you in the same way. She said "yes" and God birthed, quite literally, a maternity home in Kenya (Mercy House Kenya) out of her "yes".

There are no small people in the Kingdom of God. There is only a big God ready to do big things with our little. Kristen Welch isn't special (sorry friend) she's just one woman who stopped gripping tight to her life and let God grab a hold of her hand and lead her to dreams she couldn't have imagined.

Will you dare to say "Yes" in your mess? #yesinmymess 

The book is now available at most online book retailers and a store near you including; Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Family Christian Stores and DaySpring!

Watch the book trailer and then enter to win a copy of Rhinestone Jesus below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Let the Celebration Begin {Welcome to May}

This past month has been crazy for my family. Crazy with a capital "C"

It's been a wearying combination of moving and the unexpected of life plus once again finding our place in the in between of it all. I'm tired. I'm worn around the edges. My soul fills frizzed like my unruly mop of curls.

Once a year along comes the month of May.

My mama picked two days short of June to welcome me into her life, her legacy, her world. This May I'm marking a new decade of life. The thirties have come upon me and as I've tried to hype myself up for it I've repeatedly told my husband that my thirties are my decade. No, really I've said it over and over again with a wild look in my eye. "The thirties are MY decade."

I'm starting to believe that they will be.

Really I'm believing that my thirties will be a "hold on for dear life" kind of time that finds me clinging to Jesus more tightly than ever. What I'm truly hinting at is that I'm saying "Yes." to whatever that means.

I'm more comfortable in my skin than I ever was in my twenties. Yes, the edges are a bit more worn, my middle is a bit softer and my brain on any given day is foggier, but really truly I am more me than I have ever been.

Marriage, motherhood, and the things I love so deeply it aches in all the deepest parts are making me stronger and more whole than I knew I needed to be. Jesus, in His grace and goodness, is proving to be more than I ever knew He was. He is infinitely richer and sweeter and so is this life, broken bits and all.

I have no idea what this decade will hold. I have some hopes. I have heaping handfuls of dreams.

All I know is that I'm going to celebrate this month. I'm going to celebrate the life that I have and the God that I love and I'm going to trust that ten years from now I'll be doing the same regardless of what happens in between. 

I don't know about you but I could use a little truckloads of hope. It's been a winter that has challenged me heart and soul and I'm ready for the happy. I'm ready for the sun to soak into my skin and the truth of God to soak deeper into my soul.

This month I'm giving away some of my favorite things. In addition to giveaways I am going to be filling my blog with things that make me laugh, fill me with hope and bring me joy. I'm so excited to share with you the things that give me life and to celebrate everything else in the world coming to life- including myself!

I'm learning when grace is the rhythm of your life you might get lost in the song but you'll never really lose the beat.

Pull up a chair. I'll pour you a fresh cup of whatever you fancy. I'm sliding the bowl of chocolate your way. Let the celebration begin!

Little Is Much + a Giveaway!

Photo Credit: OUCHcharley via Compfight cc
 
She'd had a fever for two days and on the third day I take her to the doctor to find out that a double ear infection had been abrewin' for who knows how long. Strike a match and let the mama-guilt rage.

There isn't enough coffee in the world and dang it if there isn't any left in the house. I think my head will split and my words split the air and I'm glad there is no mirror nearby to catch my contorted angry reflection.

For every Pinterest perfect activity that I plan there are a dozen thousand imperfect moments of seeming failure. Half done projects scatter the shelves and there is always a smell that I just can't track down.

I'm the mom who takes her kid to the childwatch at the YMCA even when I know she is kind of sick. Yes, blame me for your kid's descent into pneumonia.

Yes, I have been known to not brush my teeth and go out in the morning just to avoid the struggle with my toddler that will ensue over my own toothbrush. My OWN toothbrush. Feel free to slip a bottle of mouthwash in my purse when I'm not looking.

I open the fridge to find that the pitcher, the one that filters water, is empty save a tiny drop in the bottom right corner.  I'm so thirsty. This is the straw that breaks the back and I rage inwardly about how there just isn't ever enough of anything to go around.

I'm just so thirsty. My heart is parched and my soul shriveled with the lack. 

There is just never enough of me to go around.

We are a culture of scarcity. Poverty comes wrapped in a million packages and in the West we've got poverty of spirit to spare. There is never enough time or resources to stuff into the empty places and we are always longing for a way to make more- a way to conjure the miracle out of the mundane. 

But that is where the miracle happens. The miracle always happen when there isn't enough. Jesus' first miracle was making wine when there just wasn't enough. He took a little boy's lunch and he split it 5,000 ways.

He gets that sometimes there just isn't enough to go around.

You never see Jesus giving more and more to those without need. Jesus gives just enough of Himself for us to know that He is all that we need.

We are always looking for the miracle when there isn't enough. Not enough time. Not enough resources. Not enough medical advancement. Not enough money in the bank. Not enough explanation for the why's of life.

This is our story. The story of not enough is our shared story. It is the story of all of us struggling day in and day out to be and raise little people into big Jesus-lovin-God-chasing-wholehearted people.

I know the voice that whispers in your ear and tells you that you're a measly sum compared to her this or his that. I know it because it whispers in mine too.

It wears a crooked hat, a twisted smile and sounds like Tom Waits.
{Bonus prize for the first person to comment with the right reference for that}

I tuck the wee girl into bed and the lion and the lamb lay together right next to her and she doesn't think twice. She snuggles them close.

The insufficiency we feel and the sufficiency that God IS makes for a truth to rest deeply in. 

But the truth is that it is a truth that most of us wrestle deeply with. We're more comfortable with having it together. I am way more comfortable with the neat and crisp pages of a tidy story but the best stories are always the ones ragged around the edges from lessons learned. Our ragged edges are what makes us real. 

Making little out of much is kind of God's specialty. Nobody loves a story of a rich man getting richer- except maybe rich men. We all love underdog stories. We crave rags to riches tales, but we don't really want that to be our story.

We all want to know that the little we have can be made into much, but we'd rather have our much made into more and more.

I fill the pitcher to brimming. I heat the tea kettle and settle for the blackest tea I have. I snuggle the sick girl with a few books and I sigh deep. I open my clenched hands and I let go of my little.

I accept that it is with my little that God makes much not of me, but of Himself. I let my little enfold those around me and I find that, in the hands of a miracle working God, it is enough.

We bring nothing to the table and it is certain that we can take nothing away save Jesus. Our little made His much and always, always, always enough for the deepest needs of our hearts. 
 

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Giveaway time!

So my sweet and so very talented friend Heather Ritchie of Heather's Letters is giving away two, count em' two, of her gorgeous hand-lettered prints to two of my readers! Here is a little more about Heather:

Heather lives in Eastern NC with her student pastor husband and 2 year old son. She is a full-time mama, pastor's wife, student worship leader and artist. Specializing in hand-lettering and modern calligraphy are her truest passions in art and learned many of the basics as a Fine Art and Design Major at UNC Greensboro. Scripture, music, color, the outdoors and other creatives inspire Heather's work. She loves using her art as a ministry to bring others joy, hope and encouragement in life!

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When the Stitches Pull Tight {Free Art + a Giveaway!}

I've never liked confrontation with all the messy awkward pauses and words jumbled up in the saying. I never seem to say what it is in my heart or head just right and I'm far less than graceful with those who dare to point out my flaws.

There are more than a handful of times when I have written people off. I've walked away from relationship because people didn't live up to my expectations or the clash of personalities just didn't seem worth the effort to dig deeper below the surface.

Truth is I walked away because it was easier than working through the hard parts of love.

Our life is a string of relationships and some will last clear into eternity, others only for a season and others are so brief they barely graze our lives. God stitches us together and sometimes He rearranges the layout of the patchwork design, but always we are woven with others.

There is a tension that exists for those of struggling through the messiness of real life community.

People don't always behave the way we want.

Some of us have lived through more than our fair share of tough slogs in relationships. We have walked through seasons with brothers and sisters that have ended badly with broken relationships. We've recoiled ourselves against the potentiality of ever being hurt by others again.

But sometimes God can use others to buoy us up like a life jacket when we think we are about to go under. Rejecting the gift of community, no matter how risky the prospect may be, might just cost us fullness of life in this present broken world.

If Christ is our tie then we can endure when pulled tight. In fact if Christ is the strong string binding us together then we can endure and come out on the other side woven tighter in Him.

Sometimes the hard relationships are where He shows up most clearly.

I once worked in ministry with a friend who was totally the opposite of my personality and we butted heads relentlessly. I was soft. She was hard. I was creative and easily distracted. She was completely logical and focused in everything.  One day this all came to a head- a big ugly needs-to-be-popped head.

I won't try to say that it was pretty or that I was gracious, because I wasn't. We weren't super tight after this, but we did understand each other a bit better. We understood where the other was coming from and the larger details of what God was doing in each of our hearts.

Shortly after that God split our paths and I count that a grace because we weren't the best of friends, but I also count the time we did minister together a grace. My ugly heart got exposed and God got a chance to work. 

Don't tear the seams of a relationship just because it is hard. Do the hard work of loving because He loved us first. He is the reason we love, not because it is easy. His love for us has never been easy yet He pursues and He loves beyond measure.

Might we be marked and pulled tight together by the same love.

This is the final post in the Stitched Together in Love series for this year! Yes, I think this is going to be an annual thing because I have had a blast giving away beauty and writing my heart out.

One more thing before I go. I've made all of us something. Well, actually my words and the amazing talent of my dear, dear friend Amy Davis have made you something.


Here is a free printable of my favorite pieces of writing "Grace is the biggest kind of brave."

Download this piece of beauty for yourself right here!
Grab some beautiful free "Grace is the biggest kind of brave." art {Click to Tweet this!}

Also, if you feel so inclined my friend Amy who made this piece of beauty is an artist extraordinaire and she is using her talents to raise funds for their family's adoption. Go over and take a look at some of the things she is making! 

Oh, but wait, there is MORE! {Cue the Price is Right theme song}

This week I have a fantastic giveaway from another real life friend. Sarah runs the etsy shop LivingLady that she fills with practical and cute handmade solutions for everyday life! Enter to win $25 to her shop!

I'm Sarah, a Youth Pastors Wife and Mommy to 4 kiddos who LOVES to create in my spare time!  I especially enjoy making custom items for you and your family. My goal is to make life more economical, easier & eco-friendly with my creations!

Find Living Lady on facebook or make a visit to her etsy shop to see all of her fun and functional creations!



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Filled Up, Poured Out, Refilled Again

I hadn't uttered a word about it to anyone. The way the fear had risen in my throat that morning or the way that I just felt the early fall wind blow dark clouds over my usually determined heart.

Like wind grace finds us wherever we are and won't leave us however we're found 

~Ann Voskamp

My heart felt like mud covered boots bogged down by all that seemed to be pulling on my attention and time. I needed a hand, an arm stronger than my own.

He never fails to give us what we need. 

A prayer whispered by a friend on my behalf. An instagram photo of our family's newsletter with words of encouragement. An invite from a friend to cup mugs and talk about the real and the really hard.

We can be that to each other. The Spirit filled sisters can be Spirit led encouragers and the truth is we all we need that on even our best days. He rejoices to fill us up and He invites all of us to partner with Him in the filling.

We can be gifts to one another by His grace. {Click here to Tweet this!}

I need you. I need you to have eyes to see me in my weakness, stumbling struggle and to let the Holy Spirit lead your actions. You need me to do the same and in so doing to bless wholeheartedly with my prayers and presence.

We are the community of the weak. We care for one another in our weakness.

In this world of me, me, me we need to be the community of grace, grace, grace.

The only way this works is if we turn our gaze off of ourselves and onto those around us. Maybe it is the new mama at library time who looks frazzled from end to end. Perhaps it is that friend you haven't talked to in awhile because busyness has filled both of your lives.

Write a note. 
Send a text. 
Tag someone in a tweet. 
Mail a package of goodness. 
Show up with Starbucks on their doorstep. 
Pray, pray, pray

Remember that your best day may be someone's worst day. Trust God to empty you out and fill you up as His Spirit works and be an active part of filling someone's cup. He will never fail to fill your own.

So here is another fantastic giveaway! Oh, this is a really good one! 

I kid you not...Ivey Expressions designs will knock you over with their awesomeness! My friend Joanna has quite the sense of style and she puts every ounce of it into her amazing and well-made creations. She inspires me! I'm giddy to giveaway just a little something from her! Read more about the mama and artist behind Ivey Expressions and then enter to win!

{again, apologies for the overabundance of exclamation points!}

Hello! My name is Joanna Ivey and I am the designer and seamstress behind Ivey Expressions. I am a stay-at-home mom and I have two daughters, Madisyn (17) and Zuri (5). My husband and I have our own photography business, Imago Photography (www.imagopix.com). We have been photographing weddings and events for about 6 years now. Our photography business got my creativity going again and I decided to start making bags and purses to sell on Etsy. Sewing is a really fun and creative outlet for me, it allows me to express my personality and ideas and make it into something pretty.

The car baskets are only the tippy top of the amazing handmade iceberg over at Ivey Expressions. Her purses are to die for. Everyone I see is better than the last. This lady has some serious talent. Check. Her. Out! 

Ivey Expressions is giving away one of their adorable car baskets pictured above (Your choice of fabric and monogramming!). Use the rafflecopter below to earn up to 5 entries for this giveaway!


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Stitched Together in Love

Every Friday this month I'm writing stories about living in community with others in Christ. Not always easy, but so worth the fight to love and walk together on this broken road. BONUS: I'm also hosting a giveaway each week to spotlight friends of mine who quite literally stitch together love with the work of their hands. Read and enter to win something beautiful! 



I was five years old when my precious nana taught me how to stitch together blocks of fabric. I would sit in her rocker and prick my fingers bloody sewing straight lines into patchwork squares. Together we made a quilt from scraps of flannel shirts and extra cotton squares from projects long abandoned or finished.

Nothing about the final project was impressive. Only the sheer size and weight of the work was to be admired. Every stitch was a raw fingered labor of inexperienced hands. It was a kaleidoscope of colors and textures bound and backed with a thin ugly colored cotton, but to my eyes it was a masterpiece.

We live lives pieced together with others and the stitches that hold those of us in Christ together are made of grace and hope in God's power to heal, save and change. Sometimes we pull against the threads in a desperate attempt to do life on our own. I've felt the tear of discontent with others tethered by my side and it has made me want to rip the seam and start- far apart from the brothers and sisters bought with as much blood and grace as I.

I think of Jesus in the upper room with his patchwork disciples sitting over supper knowing that one would betray and many would deny. He knew full well that His community would fail Him and yet

He walked forward to lay down His life for them, for us.

He ripped the veil clear in half so that we could be patched together, sewn up and sealed by His Spirit.

I have an aunt who watches t.v. preachers every week while she can see the steeple of the church of her childhood from her front window. She claims it is the same thing and I don't doubt she believes, but I'm just bold enough to dare to tell her that it isn't the same thing. Listening to the Word but not being a part of the Body, His Body, is not the same thing.

Life in the Body of Christ isn't a perfectly straight hem. 

No, it is pieced together and there are times when we tear ragged down the middle and pull against the ties that bind. We are only scraps and pieces of torn cloth apart from the whole. It is only together that we are a masterpiece.

The stitches of faith and the real life work of living in community with others is worth it. I know that it may not feel like it sometimes when hearts have been hurt and lives have been burned by community gone wrong and rotten. Piecing together the Body of Christ can be ugly work, and we are desperate for grace to do the hard work of loving and walking with one another.

He sews us up in Him and with every tear He mends us. He has more than enough time and patience to make beauty out of our rags. He has grafted us into His masterpiece and it is together that we make a glorious display of what He has done.



Join me every Friday in September for more in my Stitched Together in Love series.

Oh, but wait! I'm giving away a beautiful piece from a sweet life long friend of mine. Hannah is owner and artiste extraordinaire of Sweet SEA Designs!

Here is a bit more about the lady behind Sweet SEA Designs!

My name is Hannah and I am so blessed to be married to the love of my life. We have three beautiful and sassy girls that are the inspiration behind what I do. I love being able to make fashionable and affordable accessories for others to enjoy.

So what is Hannah giving away? This little beauty custom made for you in red or navy!

Yes, you have a chance to win this piece of cuteness! Follow the instructions to enter to win via the Rafflecopter below!

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Go check out Sweet SEA Designs on Facebook for more amazing accessories to brighten your home and life!  

A Valentine's Day Giveaway!

This isn't typical for my blog, but I've been branching out and exploring lately and when my dear, dear friend Amy Davis of Mavis Davis came to me offering to give one of her BEE-YOU-TEE-FULL drawings to one of my readers I simply couldn't resist. Partly cause I love my readers and partly because Amy is one of my most treasured friends and she is over the top talented. I love beautiful things and this hand drawing is definitely beautiful! Who wouldn't love to hang this in their home?

Visit Amy's etsy shop and see what an amazing artist she is! Also, visit Amy's blog and read her heart for Biblical womanhood, motherhood and homemaking. I promise you will leave inspired!

Now is the part when you ask, Jessica, how do I enter to win this gorgeous print? You simply must tell me!? I'm so glad you asked! You can enter for a total of 6 entries to win the print! Just follow the instructions below to win! The giveaway will close on Friday night 2/15 at midnight EST!

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