Day 1: My Fight With Fear

I've been wanting to do a series on fear...yes, fear...so when it dawned on me that October was coming I figured, "what the hey" let's make it my 31 days series...gulp...{nervous nail biting}.

Here it is, Day 1 of my 31 Days to Fearless series! I hope you'll journey with me for these 31 days. I've struggled with fear and anxiety. I know many of you have too. I've also seen how God can chisel away the rough edges if we let him re-shape our fear into trust in Him. Now that sounds like enough to fill up 31 days, don't you think?

I'm linking up with The Nester for the next 31 days.

Day 1: My Fight With Fear

It began before I can even remember I’m sure, this battle between fear and I. 

A child losing her Daddy is enough to rip the rug of security out from under any little girl. I was eight. I slept curled up next to my mama for the next three years. That was until she was killed in a car accident. I was twelve.  

Sorry to knock the wind out of your blog reading sails. {I’ll give you a minute to recover}

I have struggled with fear over nearly every possible thing in life, but I’ve also, by God’s grace, found a way out. This fear crippled me at times. I guess I never knew that it didn't have too. I found a way to live fearlessly and I want to share that with you over the next 31 days. There is no way for us to live the fullness of God’s calling on our lives unless we face down our fears with His Word and truth. I’m all about killing fear. It’s the real monster in our closets. 

My battle with fear has some strong roots to say the least. Every fear has roots in our experience, but what I’ve found is that even more than my experience of loss as a child my fear has roots in my disbelief in God. As a child I feared the normal things; monsters in the closet, the dark, thunderstorms, dying. As an adult I like to think I have grown-up fears; finances, safety, insecurities, health. What I have come to see in my oh-so-short life is that at the core of all of my fear is a systemic disbelief that God is who He says He is. The original sin is belief that God is not good and moreover He has lied to us. We follow our Father Adam and our Mother Eve when we believe in a less than good and loving God. 

I realized this on a plane ride pregnant and alone across the ocean home. It is no secret to those who know me that I hate riding on airplanes {more on this later-God has taught me a lot through riding on airplanes} and this ride was particularly stressful. I was winging my way home from a year in West Africa while my well-drilling husband stayed for an extra six weeks to finish a few projects. At the time we had no jobs, no place to live, and a baby one the way. Cue the fear. 

I was praying- which is my typical posture on a plane- and I realized that at the root of my sweaty palmed,  heart thumping, hand shaking fears was a belief that God is not good and does not love me. My fears were spinning me dizzy and this realization was just the gravity I needed to right my thinking. 

My fight with fear has been life-long, but I turned a corner that day. I still struggle (as this series will prove), but I now know the real root. The trick is learning to kill it so that I can run head long into all that He is calling me too. I want this for you too wherever and whatever your fears are.

Tomorrow: How Fear Cripples