The Rhythm of Rest

I was a band and choir nerd in high school. Well, truth be told my school was so small that nearly everyone was in one or the other. I, being a person struck with the malady of overachieving, was in both.

On top of those activities I took piano lessons. Music is a great love of mine and though I no longer play or sing regularly the technical end of things remains embedded in my brain. Technique hammered into my head by a metronome clicking away the tempo atop my Wurlitzer.

If you aren’t musical then you might not pick up on this, but if you are then you realize what a difference a rest makes in the flow of a song. The absence of sound at a given moment of a choral number or orchestral piece can be what makes a song great.

Rest isn’t meant to take anything away from our lives. Rest is meant to offer something to us that gives a flow and cadence to the whole of life. If we neglect to pause and fill every waking moment with the noise of busyness we will lose the melody and ruin the song.

Enough with the music metaphor…God didn’t use metaphor to teach us about rest. Well, at least not in the beginning. Because “In the beginning…” is exactly where He first teaches us about our need for rest.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because o it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. 
Genesis 2:1-2

When we think about taking a Sabbath it can easily be lumped in with the other nine commandments. “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy” can become another good-girl rule to follow.

It isn’t the law that sets us free. It’s grace.

A few years ago we started making naps a Sunday ritual. A typical Sunday in my home is as follows; Church, lunch, naps for everyone. And I’ll be honest and say that if church wasn’t held on Sunday I wouldn’t go because I love to let Sunday be a lazy day of rest. It has become a life-giving rhythm that I do my best to keep sacred. 

The Hebrew word for “rest” in the Old Testament is “nuwach” (noo’-akh) and literally means to settle down and to remain quiet. In the Old Testament the Israelites would complete all their tasks by sundown before the Sabbath so that they could minimize how much they moved and worked the next day.

They took the practice and observance of the Sabbath seriously.

There is no way of knowing if they fully grasped the importance of the practice or if it was simply obeying a command. I do find it helpful to leave the house reasonably clean on Saturday night so that Sunday I am not tempted to do busywork around the house. It will still be there on Monday! I also try and keep it simple. Frozen food, soup in the crockpot, sandwiches, etc…are a typical Sunday menu.

When God gave us His own example of rest in Genesis it wasn’t because He had drained Himself from so much creating.
 
No, He knew fully our finiteness and He also knew that we would be tempted to create and create and do and do until our reserves were depleted and we burnt out. Again and again in Scripture we find His invitation to retreat to the care of His rest (Psalm 23, Matthew 6) but I’ll be honest that if I don’t carve out committed time I will keep creating until I’ve exhausted myself.

One of my favorite times of the week is when I wake up from my weekly Sunday nap before the rest of my clan. I usually grab a book, a cup of tea and a pad of paper. I scribble thoughts, ideas, and goals down to silence the inner voice and I just absorb the quiet. Most importantly I listen for God’s whispers to me. I’m amazed at how often He speaks when I hush everything else to listen. 

I’m not perfect at this Sabbath taking. Some weeks we’ve traveled to visit family or on an adventure only to find ourselves on a long car ride back on Sunday. Other times we decide to have lunch with friends which runs late and throws our afternoon off. I recognize that a typical Sunday Sabbath might not be in the cards for your family life. Some of us work or have husbands who are required to work weekends. Don’t let that keep you from setting aside some portion of your week to observe a personal Sabbath. Like I said, there is grace in all things.

What I believe it comes down to is our hearts pull. Are you pulled to rest? Do you recognize your need for it? Do you take active steps to make it a regular habit or do you say, “Well, if I have time this week I will take a nap, read a book or find some quiet time.” Taking a Sabbath is about flipping that thought process on it’s head to make rest a central part of our week’s rhythms.

I’m begging you to take one day a week to hush the noise of the world. Turn off your phone. Stay at home. Do whatever you have to do to protect that time and I believe you will be blessed and renewed.

{How has taking a Sabbath revolutionized your life? Do you feel the pressure of busyness on Sundays or whenever you try and take a Sabbath? What are some practical steps you can take to manage those pressures?}

Revolutionary Rest

Rest is work.
 
That is the last thing any woman wants to hear in a series about how to integrate more focused rest into our lives as moms. Because the last thing any of us need is more work. The reality is in order to arrive at a place of rest in my day to day life I have to work hard to make a life that leads me in the direction of rest.

Rest is not something that naturally happens in my life. Left to my own devices I will pile more and more onto my plate until I simply can’t go any further under the weight of it all.

I will keep telling myself in the midst of writing my to-do list that I can’t let go of anything. Between the things I want to do, have to do and just plain do I start feeling suffocated. If I am truly honest I take my to-do list and I make myself believe it is a have-to-do list. Sister, you are not the sum of the things you marked off your list today.

You are more. You are meant for so much more.

As I’ve journeyed into the art of learning to intentionally rest and find rhythms for my life, family and work that give instead of take, I’ve discovered a few core things to meet that end.

There is one keyword to keep in mind. Intentionality.
 
I am beyond imperfect at the practice of intentional rest. In fact, I’m imperfect at everything I do, but guess what? I’m loved by God. The perfect One who calls me away from my to-do list and into life in Him. The One who knows me by name and calls me away from it all to lean back into Him like a swaying hammock and be held. That’s a nice mental image, isn’t it?

But we don’t get to just lay in a hammock all day. No, there are things to do and the dishes don’t wash themselves. Intention. The purpose with which you intend to do something. If we don’t find ways to move our lives toward that restful place with God we won’t ever make it there. 

I want one thing clearly understood. Rest isn’t just making time to read a book or watch t.v. or even sleep. Rest is the deliberate slowing down of the noise in our brains and lives so that we can hear from God. 



There is a competition for our attention between the pull of busyness and the noise of everything we believe we have to do. Want to be counter-cultural? Stop “doing” things. Stop committing to more and more. Limit your children’s extracurricular activities. Don’t sign up for one more bake sale, book club, Bible Study, small group, or volunteer opportunity.

I’m not suggesting the commitments I listed above are bad. What I am suggesting is we often fill our schedules to the brim and continue to wonder why we feel physically, spiritually and emotionally empty. Gluttony is more than eating too much. 

I’ve realized it is easier to complain about our marriages, children, and lack of time than to actually tackle those areas with intention. Why is that? I think, for me, it is because I don’t want to do the work those things require so instead I tack on another task thinking somehow I will accomplish more. Less isn’t more. More is more, right?

WRONG.

A few weeks ago I did something that downright revolutionized my life. It is so simple to do and I recommend it to everyone, especially the busy mamas out there.

Grab a sheet of paper and a pen. Write down your priorities for this season of your life. Your priorities can be as general or as specific as you want them to be. My list has about ten things on it and range from a passionate pursuit of Christ to focused attention on improving my writing. Feel free to read my whole list.

After you’ve written down your priorities. Make a list of the things that take up your time. Once that is done line the two lists up beside each other and mark through each thing on the list of things that take up your time that don’t help you meet your priorities for this season of life.

It might be painful. You may find there are things on your current list needing to go which you truly love. This doesn’t mean you give up something you love forever. It does mean you possibly give up something you love in order to cultivate something that you love more. 

The next step is to regularly ask yourself if the things you are doing line up with your list of priorities? That small act will encourage you to avoid adding things that don’t help you create a life that keeps you refreshed and leaning on Jesus.

I am sure someone is reading this and thinks that I am oversimplifying it all. There are definitely times when we have to do things that we don’t want to do for a certain purpose or over-arching reason. There is always grace, but I would ask you to be as honest with yourself as possible about what you can cut out of your life in order to make room for rest. Every little bit will free up some space to rest.

I’ve been at this intentional rest thing for a few weeks now and I can already sense a freeing of my spirit. It has caused me to recognize how much I was making decisions out of fear that I wouldn’t get things done.

One thing that has emerged from my self-reflection is that I’ve discovered that I was already cutting things out of my life, namely, joy. Yes, I’m beginning to think we are always pruning something away from our lives even in busyness. The unfortunate thing about this realizations is I am nearly certain I was pruning joy away from my life.

I know “intentionality” is a buzzword these days. It’s a buzzword I am okay with if it means I get more of the life I love. If being intentional leads me to a more God-soaked marriage and work that overflows from my life instead of sucking it dry then I am all about it.

Jesus, has never been anything less than intentional with me. His pursuit of me from the Cross to the grave and straight on into eternity is with purpose. I want to pursue life in Him and this one life I am gifted with the same intentionality.

{Take some time today to prayerfully make a list of priorities and compare it to the plates you are spinning these days. Does it match up? What can you cut out? What areas can you refine to fill you up instead of drain you?}

(in)motherhood ladies, if you missed the first two posts go back and give them a read!
Rest for Your Souls
GET OVER IT! {Mama-Guilt that is}  (Over at Heidi's place!)

What Rest Means Right Now

I climb into bed with her somewhere around midnight because when we moved into this already furnished house we didn't realize we were giving her the most comfortable bed in the house. My lower back and legs ache and I've moved between bed, couch and floor till I'm weary of trying to sleep.

She stirs and stretches her limbs long on the quilt-top and under a zoo of stuffed animals. I catch a whiff of her blond curls and my chest aches. I breathe in the scent until another molecule of air can't squeeze into my lungs, desperate to take it all in. It's that all to familiar feeling these days. I hear it from everyone about how these moments will flee all to fast and I wonder if my own mama knew it.

Sometimes it feels like God is throwing up cosmic billboards so that you can get His message.

I tried my best to come up with a witty list of interesting things about me to go along with my 30th Birthday {Some ways to send Birthday wishes to me at the end of this post so read on!}, but all I could think about is the way I am feeling wooed away from the whirring of busyness in all the cracks and crevices of my life and into a place of quiet rest and re-envisioning life. I'm feeling wooed by the rhythm of making a home, curating a life to the slow pace of intentionality and Jesus following.

The other day Millie kept saying to me “Mama, please, come back.” I gazed down at her perplexed. I spend nearly every waking hour with this tiny human most of which is one on one all up in my face interaction. The only thing that I could guess is that she had a bad dream that had planted a seed of worry in her heart. But her words haunted me in the worst sort of way. I want to be present to my life in every way. 

To be honest it feels a bit strange that her words would bother me because on the outside I’m not someone who bounces from meeting to meeting and has a crazy list of must-dos. My daily life is not packed to the gills with places to be and people to see. I am intentional, but the road to busyness is paved with good intentions and I think that my day to day can be refined for maximum joy.  

My inner life feels cluttered and stretched and I can see how it is stealing from me instead of giving to me.

Because at the end of the day is all of my doing really getting me where I want to go?

What I’ve slowly recognized is a tendency to float along hoping the things rooted deep in my heart will happen on their own. I’ve found that those things don’t happen on their own {duh}, at least not in the way that I want them to, and as the list of would’ve, could’ve, should’ves mounts so does my anxiety as I drown beneath my list of unfinished projects, unfulfilled hopes and wasted time.

I’ve spent time over the last few weeks mulling over my commitments and what I believe God is calling me to focus on in this season of my life. I’ve detected a few recurring priorities:

• Pursuing God with intensity and passion.
• Purposefully investing in my marriage.
• Focusing my time and attention as a mother so I don't miss a thing. 
• Nurturing and creating a home that reflects my family’s values, mission and personality.
• Managing my time well.
• Doing quality work for those I’ve already committed my talents and skills to.
• Intentionally building community with other women.
• Integrating service to others into the natural flow of my daily life.
• Taking care of myself through good health habits; mind, body and spirit.
• Refining and pursuing the gift of writing that God has given me.
• Consciously limiting my commitments to what is already on my plate.

I’m amazed at how do-able this list feels to me. I read over it and instead of seeing the million things I have to do I see a manageable list of life-giving priorities. I don’t see what I have to do I see what I get to do as a part of living a life that embraces Christ in every nook and cranny.  I’m marking every other to-do off the list that doesn’t help me meet the ends listed above.

It’s as simple as that.



I’m taking a blog break. Don’t worry it's just for the summer and I’ll still have things to share here in this space. For the month of June I’ll be sharing {with my friend Heidi joining in} about the story God is writing on my heart about truly embracing rest.

I’m also going to make a point to use this space over the summer months to tell others stories. I love to hear from my readers and would love to share a story or two from your life in this space.

ATTENTION READERS: I WANT YOUR STORY! 

Are you adopting? Do you have a special needs kiddo who has turned your life upside down and rearranged your heart? Are you struggling with infertility? Are you a young single woman setting out on an adventure of ruthless trust in Jesus? Have you battled fear, loss, disease and found your way to more deeply knowing Jesus than you ever imagined? Are you walking a path few have cleared before you and you’re uncertain where it is going? Yeah, me too.

I want your story to fill the space between these online walls while I take a rest. Send me an email at handmedowngrace(at)gmail(dot)com

I’m not breaking up with social media so look for signs of life on my Facebook page and on the twitter. Following me on FB and twitter will allow you to join me as I share archived posts that are still ringing true in my heart. I’ll also be curating life through instagram so please join me this summer as I snap shots of what it looks like to find rest in the messy middle of my everyday.

One of the things I’ll be finding my way back to is writing for the sake of writing. I’m a writer not a blogger at heart. In the blog world of write now, publish now I need to sit back and mull over some words before I share them. I plan to pick back up my online pen in September (or sooner if the words find their way here).

I was telling my husband the other day that I fumble over my words when someone tells me how much my writing means to them face to face. I don’t know where to look and I get all nervous. I’m humbled right down to the earth that ya’ll read my scribbles and love me still. I hope that you’ll stick with me as God continues to write my story even in the stillness. 

It’s a scary leap to disregard the million of things that the publishing world tells you to do in order to get to where you want to go. What I think I’m learning is that I’m going to get to where God wants me to go by drawing close to Him. 

Want to wish me a "Happy Birthday"? 

Read on...

I have a sweet young mama friend who is battling cancer with a bleak prognosis. Ya'll this woman has a huge heart and even bigger faith and it is amazing to see so many coming around her family to love on them and cheer them on in the fight. She's a mama of two wee ones like so many of us. Do something amazing for her family and for my heart, and go over the the Team Rachel Facebook page and leave a prayer or encouraging word. That would make my Birthday VERY Happy.

You could also head on over to the Mercy House Kenya Shop and pick up something pretty for yourself. It is no secret how much I adore the ministry that is happening through Mercy House. Go be a small part of it and grab a piece of beauty from their shop. 

Now it's time for cake. {Chocolate of course}