My Summer in the Rearview Mirror

The summer is slowly fading into the rearview mirror. I took what I called a Summer Sabbathical which meant I stepped away from regular blogging and retreated to the quiet of writing without the pressure to publish or stay on a schedule. It might have been the best idea I have ever had.

Our summer has been all over the place. My husband started a new job. We moved into a another {temporary} house. We went swimming a lot. We traveled some. Mostly we just tried to find pockets of time with the one's we love. It was good. It was what I needed after last Spring's unexpected storyline.

Back in the Spring I decided to step away from the buzz of social media to write and slow down. It was a great choice and along the way I learned a few things. Things which have made me more aware of how I spend my time and direct my energy. I'm easing back into this blogging thing but I thought I would start off by sharing what I learned along the way this summer.

Busyness is a choice. 

I knew this. I really did, but it wasn't until I slowed down completely that I began to question the choices I make on a daily basis to fill my time. I choose to do many things because somewhere along the lines I began to see them as necessary.

As I wound down my pace I recognized much of what I was doing on a regular basis was not tied to God's calling on my life but on a litany of things I think others expect of me. I was astonished at how much margin I began to see in my life when I turned off those outside voices and leaned into the One Voice that matters. 

Balance is key

My summer was a bit experimental. I removed most everything from my plate. Guess what? The world did not fall apart. Imagine that.

But here is the rub. I love blogging. I love being a part of online community. I want to be a writer.

This is where I find myself now. I have hesitated to jump back in fully because I know I struggle with balance. I crave balance in my life and am very sensitive when things get off kilter, but I also find it difficult to strike the necessary balance. I bet a lot of you can relate. I prefer not to spin plates. I like my plates squarely on the table piled high with good food. You too? Pray for me in this, ok?

My voice is bigger than I realize.

I've been blogging for five years and in that time I have stuck to topics that feel safe to me. The stories are sometimes messy but most of the time I try and keep it kosher. I have a rabid fear of conflict.

I don't have a deep desire to be controversial. In fact I get extremely frustrated with writers/bloggers/talkingheads who feel it there place to be inflammatory on purpose. The Lord really spoke to me this summer about the way He has gifted me. I am a discerning person and have always had the ability to cut to the heart of the matter. I have recognized that I need to do this more in my writing.

With that said don't expect me to go wild responding to each new cultural uproar that comes across the news. Part of being discerning is knowing how and when to respond. I pray that I can be faithful as I use my words boldly to point back to the Gospel.

Those are just a few things that I have wrestled with this summer in between jumping off the diving board, tickling a two year old's tummy and applying sunscreen generously. Fall is here and I'm feeling tired and refreshed all at once. The words are flowing, cup of tea in hand and my record player is spinning. Let's do this!

There is much to look forward to in the next couple of months around this space, heck this week is gonna be pretty stellar. Wednesday I am over at Kristen Welch's place for her Works for Me Wednesday series. I hope you'll read because I am sharing the nitty gritty raw place of what it means for me to say "Yes." to God right.this.minute.

Also, I'm going to be spending the day this coming Saturday in The Nester's newly renovated barn with a circle of writers. I'm looking forward to gleaning wisdom from others especially Emily P. Freeman and Christa Wells who are hosting us!

Lastly, I'm about to make a long time dream a reality as I upgrade and rearrange this space. Wednesday I'm having a vintage-inspired photoshoot and by mid-October I hope to launch! All of that right before I journey down to Greenville, SC to hug a few necks and soak up the goodness at Allume. Thanks for your patience and your faithfulness to read my words and encourage me so deeply. I'm a whole lot of grateful!

The Rhythm of Rest

I was a band and choir nerd in high school. Well, truth be told my school was so small that nearly everyone was in one or the other. I, being a person struck with the malady of overachieving, was in both.

On top of those activities I took piano lessons. Music is a great love of mine and though I no longer play or sing regularly the technical end of things remains embedded in my brain. Technique hammered into my head by a metronome clicking away the tempo atop my Wurlitzer.

If you aren’t musical then you might not pick up on this, but if you are then you realize what a difference a rest makes in the flow of a song. The absence of sound at a given moment of a choral number or orchestral piece can be what makes a song great.

Rest isn’t meant to take anything away from our lives. Rest is meant to offer something to us that gives a flow and cadence to the whole of life. If we neglect to pause and fill every waking moment with the noise of busyness we will lose the melody and ruin the song.

Enough with the music metaphor…God didn’t use metaphor to teach us about rest. Well, at least not in the beginning. Because “In the beginning…” is exactly where He first teaches us about our need for rest.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because o it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. 
Genesis 2:1-2

When we think about taking a Sabbath it can easily be lumped in with the other nine commandments. “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy” can become another good-girl rule to follow.

It isn’t the law that sets us free. It’s grace.

A few years ago we started making naps a Sunday ritual. A typical Sunday in my home is as follows; Church, lunch, naps for everyone. And I’ll be honest and say that if church wasn’t held on Sunday I wouldn’t go because I love to let Sunday be a lazy day of rest. It has become a life-giving rhythm that I do my best to keep sacred. 

The Hebrew word for “rest” in the Old Testament is “nuwach” (noo’-akh) and literally means to settle down and to remain quiet. In the Old Testament the Israelites would complete all their tasks by sundown before the Sabbath so that they could minimize how much they moved and worked the next day.

They took the practice and observance of the Sabbath seriously.

There is no way of knowing if they fully grasped the importance of the practice or if it was simply obeying a command. I do find it helpful to leave the house reasonably clean on Saturday night so that Sunday I am not tempted to do busywork around the house. It will still be there on Monday! I also try and keep it simple. Frozen food, soup in the crockpot, sandwiches, etc…are a typical Sunday menu.

When God gave us His own example of rest in Genesis it wasn’t because He had drained Himself from so much creating.
 
No, He knew fully our finiteness and He also knew that we would be tempted to create and create and do and do until our reserves were depleted and we burnt out. Again and again in Scripture we find His invitation to retreat to the care of His rest (Psalm 23, Matthew 6) but I’ll be honest that if I don’t carve out committed time I will keep creating until I’ve exhausted myself.

One of my favorite times of the week is when I wake up from my weekly Sunday nap before the rest of my clan. I usually grab a book, a cup of tea and a pad of paper. I scribble thoughts, ideas, and goals down to silence the inner voice and I just absorb the quiet. Most importantly I listen for God’s whispers to me. I’m amazed at how often He speaks when I hush everything else to listen. 

I’m not perfect at this Sabbath taking. Some weeks we’ve traveled to visit family or on an adventure only to find ourselves on a long car ride back on Sunday. Other times we decide to have lunch with friends which runs late and throws our afternoon off. I recognize that a typical Sunday Sabbath might not be in the cards for your family life. Some of us work or have husbands who are required to work weekends. Don’t let that keep you from setting aside some portion of your week to observe a personal Sabbath. Like I said, there is grace in all things.

What I believe it comes down to is our hearts pull. Are you pulled to rest? Do you recognize your need for it? Do you take active steps to make it a regular habit or do you say, “Well, if I have time this week I will take a nap, read a book or find some quiet time.” Taking a Sabbath is about flipping that thought process on it’s head to make rest a central part of our week’s rhythms.

I’m begging you to take one day a week to hush the noise of the world. Turn off your phone. Stay at home. Do whatever you have to do to protect that time and I believe you will be blessed and renewed.

{How has taking a Sabbath revolutionized your life? Do you feel the pressure of busyness on Sundays or whenever you try and take a Sabbath? What are some practical steps you can take to manage those pressures?}

What Rest Means Right Now

I climb into bed with her somewhere around midnight because when we moved into this already furnished house we didn't realize we were giving her the most comfortable bed in the house. My lower back and legs ache and I've moved between bed, couch and floor till I'm weary of trying to sleep.

She stirs and stretches her limbs long on the quilt-top and under a zoo of stuffed animals. I catch a whiff of her blond curls and my chest aches. I breathe in the scent until another molecule of air can't squeeze into my lungs, desperate to take it all in. It's that all to familiar feeling these days. I hear it from everyone about how these moments will flee all to fast and I wonder if my own mama knew it.

Sometimes it feels like God is throwing up cosmic billboards so that you can get His message.

I tried my best to come up with a witty list of interesting things about me to go along with my 30th Birthday {Some ways to send Birthday wishes to me at the end of this post so read on!}, but all I could think about is the way I am feeling wooed away from the whirring of busyness in all the cracks and crevices of my life and into a place of quiet rest and re-envisioning life. I'm feeling wooed by the rhythm of making a home, curating a life to the slow pace of intentionality and Jesus following.

The other day Millie kept saying to me “Mama, please, come back.” I gazed down at her perplexed. I spend nearly every waking hour with this tiny human most of which is one on one all up in my face interaction. The only thing that I could guess is that she had a bad dream that had planted a seed of worry in her heart. But her words haunted me in the worst sort of way. I want to be present to my life in every way. 

To be honest it feels a bit strange that her words would bother me because on the outside I’m not someone who bounces from meeting to meeting and has a crazy list of must-dos. My daily life is not packed to the gills with places to be and people to see. I am intentional, but the road to busyness is paved with good intentions and I think that my day to day can be refined for maximum joy.  

My inner life feels cluttered and stretched and I can see how it is stealing from me instead of giving to me.

Because at the end of the day is all of my doing really getting me where I want to go?

What I’ve slowly recognized is a tendency to float along hoping the things rooted deep in my heart will happen on their own. I’ve found that those things don’t happen on their own {duh}, at least not in the way that I want them to, and as the list of would’ve, could’ve, should’ves mounts so does my anxiety as I drown beneath my list of unfinished projects, unfulfilled hopes and wasted time.

I’ve spent time over the last few weeks mulling over my commitments and what I believe God is calling me to focus on in this season of my life. I’ve detected a few recurring priorities:

• Pursuing God with intensity and passion.
• Purposefully investing in my marriage.
• Focusing my time and attention as a mother so I don't miss a thing. 
• Nurturing and creating a home that reflects my family’s values, mission and personality.
• Managing my time well.
• Doing quality work for those I’ve already committed my talents and skills to.
• Intentionally building community with other women.
• Integrating service to others into the natural flow of my daily life.
• Taking care of myself through good health habits; mind, body and spirit.
• Refining and pursuing the gift of writing that God has given me.
• Consciously limiting my commitments to what is already on my plate.

I’m amazed at how do-able this list feels to me. I read over it and instead of seeing the million things I have to do I see a manageable list of life-giving priorities. I don’t see what I have to do I see what I get to do as a part of living a life that embraces Christ in every nook and cranny.  I’m marking every other to-do off the list that doesn’t help me meet the ends listed above.

It’s as simple as that.



I’m taking a blog break. Don’t worry it's just for the summer and I’ll still have things to share here in this space. For the month of June I’ll be sharing {with my friend Heidi joining in} about the story God is writing on my heart about truly embracing rest.

I’m also going to make a point to use this space over the summer months to tell others stories. I love to hear from my readers and would love to share a story or two from your life in this space.

ATTENTION READERS: I WANT YOUR STORY! 

Are you adopting? Do you have a special needs kiddo who has turned your life upside down and rearranged your heart? Are you struggling with infertility? Are you a young single woman setting out on an adventure of ruthless trust in Jesus? Have you battled fear, loss, disease and found your way to more deeply knowing Jesus than you ever imagined? Are you walking a path few have cleared before you and you’re uncertain where it is going? Yeah, me too.

I want your story to fill the space between these online walls while I take a rest. Send me an email at handmedowngrace(at)gmail(dot)com

I’m not breaking up with social media so look for signs of life on my Facebook page and on the twitter. Following me on FB and twitter will allow you to join me as I share archived posts that are still ringing true in my heart. I’ll also be curating life through instagram so please join me this summer as I snap shots of what it looks like to find rest in the messy middle of my everyday.

One of the things I’ll be finding my way back to is writing for the sake of writing. I’m a writer not a blogger at heart. In the blog world of write now, publish now I need to sit back and mull over some words before I share them. I plan to pick back up my online pen in September (or sooner if the words find their way here).

I was telling my husband the other day that I fumble over my words when someone tells me how much my writing means to them face to face. I don’t know where to look and I get all nervous. I’m humbled right down to the earth that ya’ll read my scribbles and love me still. I hope that you’ll stick with me as God continues to write my story even in the stillness. 

It’s a scary leap to disregard the million of things that the publishing world tells you to do in order to get to where you want to go. What I think I’m learning is that I’m going to get to where God wants me to go by drawing close to Him. 

Want to wish me a "Happy Birthday"? 

Read on...

I have a sweet young mama friend who is battling cancer with a bleak prognosis. Ya'll this woman has a huge heart and even bigger faith and it is amazing to see so many coming around her family to love on them and cheer them on in the fight. She's a mama of two wee ones like so many of us. Do something amazing for her family and for my heart, and go over the the Team Rachel Facebook page and leave a prayer or encouraging word. That would make my Birthday VERY Happy.

You could also head on over to the Mercy House Kenya Shop and pick up something pretty for yourself. It is no secret how much I adore the ministry that is happening through Mercy House. Go be a small part of it and grab a piece of beauty from their shop. 

Now it's time for cake. {Chocolate of course}