Day 10: At Arm's Length (Part 3)

Girls can be brutal to one another. I remember being in the second grade and ganging up on another little girl for no reason. NO reason. I also remember being talked about behind my back in middle school...again, for NO reason.

Add a dash of comparison and a boat load of insecurity and you've got a recipe for avoiding real relationships with women as an adult. Those girls that name-called become women who compare themselves and avoid relationships or destroy relationships out of fear.

We've all heard it and many of us have said it.

"I prefer to be friends with guys."
"Women are so catty."
"I don't trust other women."

These things are true...of all of us...when we aren't walking in the Spirit. We can point fingers. We can talk about that woman who is just impossible to get along with or is so closed off, but the truth is that we all do it on some level.

"Oh, I'd love to get coffee, but I'm just.so.busy. Too busy, really."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you my babies all slept through the night by 10 weeks." 

Our words often reflect fear. Fear that if we get too close to one another we'll realize that we aren't good enough or the opposite we think she has it all together and we don't want to get too close and be reminded that we don't.

Here is the problem with holding other women at arm's length. We play right into the enemies hands. See, he knows that as strong as our aversion to other women can be our unity is even stronger and more dangerous to him. Women encouraging one another and living life (without competition and in sincere love toward one another) in lock step with one another and the Gospel is more dangerous than an atom bomb. It blows up all the schemes of the enemy.

I would guess that almost all of us have struggled in relationships with other women before, yes, other Christian women. Even to the point that we have wanted to throw in the hat and avoid friendships with other women. In Scripture we see Paul call out two women who evidently couldn't get along. Even Paul knew that women's relationships were important and had an affect (either positive or negative) on the life of the church.

Our relationships, in all their forms, will stretch us to our soul. They will make us more like Christ if we let them. Fear keeps us from being stretched and leads us to live small, closed off, fruitless lives.

Day 11: Afraid to Dream