Conquered

In the fight with fear the place we always have to come back to is God's already finished plan to save us. We may be a work in progress as women, wives and mothers, but God's plan for redemption was finished in Christ.

Yes, the world is still groaning and awaiting the full realization of that redemption, but our souls as believers are saved and sealed by the Spirit so there is no need to fear.

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us"

Romans 8:37

I've read that verse in Romans a million times and as a child I remember singing the words from that passage with gusto and muscle man arm motions.

In the past when I've thought about that verse I always had a vision of being in a fight and winning David and Goliath style, but the truth is that the verse says that we are "more than conquerors". We aren't the ones doing the conquering.

Christ did the conquering and somehow in all His goodness and mercy we get the benefit. 

We don't have to worry with the fighting and the striving to not fear or to be a "good" mama. Nope. In Christ those struggles have been conquered. Now our job is to lean into Jesus for all the hard and the ugly places of our hearts and lives.

The leaning is the hard part. The challenge is to lean into the truth when we want to lean into fear. The enemy and our own sinful hearts trick us into believing that it is better to embrace fear, but the truth is that there is endless joy and peace in embracing Christ and the freedom He offers.

All your fears for your children and yourself and everything that you just can't control...Let them go sisters. Open your hands, palms up, and just let them go. They've been conquered and there is not one hair on your head or the heads of your children that is not numbered and counted as precious and prized by the one who walked a hill to die and kill sin and death once and for all.

Your fear doesn't protect them or you; God's goodness does.

We're free from fear. Let's walk in that truth and teach our children to do the same.

{This is the final post "Fearless Motherhood". I hope you've seen God's heart for your fear struggle through new eyes and that the Spirit is breathing freedom in this area of your life. Take some time to thank God for the way that He has conquered death and killed fear once and for all.}

The Thing: How Our Understanding of God Shapes Our Fight With Fear

Every mama, whether you have one kiddo or a fifteen passenger van full of them, has plenty on her plate. Sometimes fear fighting can seem like one more thing on the heaped tall plate of our life.

But what if it wasn't one more thing? What if it was the thing?

When fear creeps up we can be tempted to tell ourselves to "Be brave" or "Be strong", but what if fearless isn't something we can be?

Fearlessness is an overflow from a life that knows exactly who God is, what Jesus has done and who we are because of that. It isn't something we conjure or create. It is a way of life because of a deep and abiding understanding of God.

If we aren't grounded in the truth of God's character, the Gospel and our identity that is the result of those truths then we will be tossed by fear and uncertainty.

Yesterday, I dropped my husband off at the airport for a three week trip to East Africa. Three weeks with little communication and wrangling a toddler girl without the help and companionship of my husband and best friend. It hit me harder than I thought it would. After all this is what we signed up for as part of the ministry that my family serves with. It is the work we love and it brings me immense joy to send my husband off half way around the world.

I choked back tears and said goodbye and loaded the sleepy baby girl in the car to head for home. As I drove I began to declare the goodness of God. I began to say the things that are true of God.

He is good. He is a gentle shepherd. He supplies for our needs abundantly. 

{Oh and God is about a million other things that can change and rearrange the way that we view Him, our lives and the struggles of this life. Here is one of my favorite books on the attributes of God.}

I preached the Gospel to myself. I allowed the Spirit to remind me that in Christ I am whole and complete and free from fear and guess what? The fear fled. The fear fled because Jesus drives out fear. Perfect love casts out fear and Jesus is the purest most perfect love.

The bottom line is that the very worst could happen in a broken world. Those dark fears, the ones you bury deep and utter to no one, could happen. A car accident could take your babies. Your husband could have an affair and leave. Bankruptcy. Foreclosure. Rape. Incest. All the ugly could happen. 

We are not a people of the "what ifs" we are a people of the "what is".  If all the ugly broke open and spilled all over your life your life would change, but God would not. That is another one of His amazing attributes; He never changes. He sent Jesus to a broken world and the reality of our fears are the result of a broken world not the result of a broken God.

All this talk about bravery and fear free living is just another way of admitting that we are broken and seeing God's amazing knack for putting broken things back together.

Our fear is small compared to our great God. Embrace that. Live in that knowledge and you will see fear flee.

{How do you preach the Gospel to yourself? How does your personal walk with Christ (quiet time, personal worship, spiritual disciplines, etc...) shape the way you approach the struggle with fear?}

Fear Worship

No matter how our babies come to our arms we know from the moment that they get there that we are supposed to protect them. We feel it down deep and the mama bear begins to grow and growl within us. There is nothing that we wouldn't do or weapon we wouldn't wield to protect our babies from harm.

Fear is the reaction to the realization that we aren't in control. 

Fear makes us think that we are protecting those we love. We bathe them in worry. We hold them back from potential harm. We do the best we can to protect them from anything and everything and that is right and good. We are warrior mamas. Fighting for the lives of our children everyday.

The problem is that we can take our God given responsibility as mothers to raise and protect and make it an idol in our lives.

When motherhood is an idol in our life fear will be our act of worship.
We will think that we are justified in every little worry and frightful thought.
We will mama scared. 

The Gospel calls us to more. Jesus, His life, death and resurrection so that we might have hope and live redeemed and hope-full lives calls us to more.

He calls us to more life and less fear. 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts our fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and  whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18

Scripture tells us that if we fear then we have not been perfected in love. That doesn't mean that we are to be perfect. This life will be far from that, but knowing the perfect one, Jesus, means that we can know love and live fearless. Bottom line is that Jesus worship, knowing Him, walking with Him, that is the way to end fear worship.

It is the knowledge of God, and relationship with Jesus that can unlock that door that holds us bound to fear. There isn't any secret way out of the fear struggle, especially not when it comes to the babies that we love so much. At every stage of motherhood this battle with fear will rebirth itself in a different form.

There is only one thing we need to know.

God never changes and knowing Him and the Gospel of new life in Christ, knowing it truly and deeply, will create a rock hard foundation that cannot be shaken by fear.

{How do you find yourself giving into fear? How do you combat your fear? Are you trying in your own strength or are you leaning into God and the truth of His Word and THE Word, Jesus? Take some time to write down some of the attributes of God and think about how that truth about who God is and our freedom, in Christ, from fear can help you in the battle.}

Brave Mamas, Brave Kiddos

From the time those pink lines appeared on a 60 cent test from a Liberian pharmacy my husband and I talked about the things we wanted to instill in our child(ren). My husband, knowing his fear prone wife, made a point of saying that he wanted to make certain that we didn't raise our kids to be fearful people. I nodded my head in agreement and gulped back fear (ironic I know).

None of us want to raise fearful kids.

We don't want to have boys and girls who are anxiety ridden and live small, closed lives.

What maybe we don't realize is that our own fears register with our children. They do.

My great grandmother had a huge influence on my life as a little girl. She lived across the street and watched me nearly every day before and after school because both of my parents worked. She was an amazing cook and a sweet soul, but she was also fear ridden in the worst sort of way. It impacted my life in ways I've only realized as an adult. Her life imprinted such goodness on my life, but it also imprinted fearful living in a way that is tough to extract and kill.

I don't mean to say that we don't live in reality about the world we live in. Our world is broken and the worst sort of things can happen. There are things so ugly that we dare not speak them out loud, but if God is our Rock then we can't be rocked and we have to teach our children the strength of that truth.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

That should also drive us to examine deeply the things we fear and the ways that we cope with those fears.

Has the love of God impacted our lives in such a way that we choose faith over fear?

Our children are watching our every move and they will see us when we are bent under fear. They will pick up on us preferring fear over the hope offered in Christ. We are the first Jesus story they will read and the one that will impact them most deeply.

We named our girl "Amelia" (she's Millie to her friends) and everyone always thinks of Amelia Earhart when we tell them her full name. She isn't her namesake, but as I've thought about it I think I like the idea of her having a bit of Amelia Earhart's spirit. That boundary pushing fearlessness is a great thing if it is directed and guided by Godliness.

The only way I can do that is if I model that same boldness in my life. I want her to say that Amelia Earhart was brave, but her mama is even braver.

We find the strength and determination to be model fearlessness in God's Word. Again and again we are told that fearlessness is only attainable for the soul who finds their hope fully in Christ.

Let's claim this passage as we live life in front of our children this week:

From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I 
Psalm 61:2

{Think about the areas of your life that you hold onto fear and how that fear might be spilling over onto your children on a daily basis. Pray bold prayers for your children that they would be protected and that they would be brave and bold in a scary world. Write out Psalm 61:2, put it somewhere that you can see and learn it as a family.}

Comfortable With Fear

Can I tell you a secret? Lean in closer. Closer. This is kind of embarrassing.

Sometimes I like being fearful. {Gulp}

You read that right. There are days when I cling to fear because it is easier than living life on the cliff's edge of faith. Fear gives me an excuse to live small and not do the hard stuff of marriage, mothering and community.

We've already talked about how fear can sneaks it's way into the everyday and leave us scared to live life. Today we're going to talk about how fear can be a security blanket.

My family serves in ministry and my husband frequently travels to support folks working in the field overseas. Most of the time his travels are to the third world and some times these travels take him to pretty scary places. We did, after all, get pregnant with our daughter while living in post civil war West Africa.

There are times when my reaction to a new trip idea or plan is to just say "NO!" Life is easier and more predictable when he is at home and my flesh's inclination is to just shut it down so that I feel safe and secure. That doesn't kill fear it just puts a block in my life to an opportunity to live out faith. The fear is still there growing and sprouting more and more roots into other areas of my life.

James tells us that a double-minded man is unstable in every way. Living on the razors edge of fear and faith is not where God desires us to live our lives. Jesus calls us over into full faith living.

Again and again God reminds us through His Word that faithful living is the better way. The way that fear lulls us into believing that it is the best way to live is one of the enemy's lies. What seems like it is keeping us safe is actually just bondage to a ruler that desires us to live small faithless lives.

Galatians 5:1

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Even if cutting off the bonds of fear is painful and frightening it is infinitely better than living under the weight that fear puts on our lives. Christ offers that ability. We can't throw these chains off on our own, in fact left to our own devices we'll stay bound up. 

Next week we're going to talk about preaching the Gospel to ourselves to combat fear. That is the only thing that can change a heart that is comfortable living fearful. This week is another week to get honest with ourselves.

{Are their areas of your life where you are comfortable with fear? Do you allow yourself to be scared for yourself and your children using the excuse that it is reasonable to be frightened in the scary world we live in? How does this way of thinking hold you back from living life to the fullest as a woman, wife, mama and Christ follower?} 

Have you missed the other posts in the (in)motherhood Fearless Motherhood series? 
Our Mama Fears and His Marvelous Faithfulness
Unsurprised by Fear
No Room For Fear

 

No Room For Fear

In the face of uncertainty God over and over again tells us not to fear.

When a legion of Egyptians were on their heels He spoke through Moses and said that fear had no place in the hearts of His people. Shepherds in a field accosted by angels and a great light to announce that God Himself was with us. Again, no room for fear. Are you walking through the valley of the shadow? He whispers not to fear one bit.

For some of us the anxious gnaw is with us when we lay down at night and washes over us anew when we wake up. It can feel like riding an ever nauseating merry-go-round.

A life free from fear will be marked by a life tied to the truth of the Gospel. 

God never asks us not to fear for the sake of not fearing. His summons to fear free living is a summons to follow Jesus, to follow Him in faith.

The day to day can be hard. When you are up to your elbows in laundry and the baby is teething and potty training has gone awry it can be easy to fear that God won't show up in the details. Bank accounts dwindle, houses don't sell on time and bills mount and all the unknown can make us want to hide away from the world.

There is no fear load too great for the easy yoke of Christ. He calls us to put down fear and take up His burden which is light because He carried it for us all the way up the hill to Calvary.

{Walk in the truth. Sit down with a notebook and a pen and pick your favorite Bible story. Read through that story and write down the places where the characters were tempted to fear and either chose faith in God or fearfulness. I love the story of Abraham and Sarah, but in just about every story you can find this theme. King David. Ruth. Esther. Job. Paul. Take time to ponder how you reject or embrace fear in your daily life and lay those things at the feet of Jesus through prayer.}

Unsurpised by Fear

Motherhood is often about doing the hard stuff, the thankless work, the up all night with no tangible rewards work. When our children need us we put aside self and our own needs to put their needs first.

We push down fear and we push down anxiety, but there are times when all of the fear bubbles to the surface and overflows into every nook and cranny of our lives; marriage and motherhood included.

When fear starts pressing on our hearts and minds we shouldn't be surprised. God certainly isn't. We live in a fear prone world. A world in which we even incite ourselves to fear via scary movies and the evening news.

We've got to be able to be honest with ourselves about our fears and the way they affect our ability to live Godly lives in this present world as wives, mothers and women of the Word.

Even though there is plenty to fear it doesn't mean that it is okay for us to let fear be our comfort zone. I know there are times when I have allowed fear to be the thing I am most comfortable with. Rather than doing the hard work of clinging to the cross I cling to my fears because that is what seems more natural.

If we hide fear we will find that we are not hiding in Jesus. We will find that we are actually trying to live life in our own strength while we grapple secretly with fear that is trying to drown us.

The Psalmist puts it so beautifully and the implications for our lives are enormously powerful. We are a fear prone people and motherhood inclines us only to further fear.

God knows that. God isn't surprised by our fears. Not. One. Bit.

He is a fear prepared God.

Take your fear and run into His strong tower. Don't rely on your three little pigs style stick house. Run to the fortress that is our God and find rest and safety.

Ask yourself the hard questions. What is lighting your path? In what are you looking for salvation?  What are you clinging to? Is fear a stronghold or is the Lord your strength?

{What are your fears? Write the down if you haven't already. No matter how ugly, dark or unmentionable they seem. Identify the places where you are fighting fear in your own strength. Claim the truth of Psalm 27:1.}

Did you miss last weeks "Fearless Motherhood" post? Give it a read. 

Our Mama Fears and His Marvelous Faithfulness

{For my faithful readers: I co-lead an (in)couragers community group called (in)motherhood. This session our theme is "Fearless Motherhood" each Monday you are going to find a post here on that theme. The post is for all of us, but will have some specific content for the members of the (in)motherhood group. You are welcome and more than invited to read and grow along with us as we delve into this topic.}

There are about a million reasons to be afraid in life. Motherhood takes those million reasons and doubles them with every child. From the moment that the pink lines appear we wonder and worry and plan and prepare only to find that motherhood is more than we ever expected.

It is scarier.
It is sweeter.

Motherhood is all consuming and sometimes our fears can consume us in it's midst. 

We live in a scary world, but God calls us to be brave and whole women and mamas.
As mamas we worry about the small details and the grand scheme all at once and that can get exhausting. I know.

Is my baby getting enough to eat? How is my milk supply? How can I know?

Will my baby suffocate on the bumper? Why did I put a bumper in there?

Will she choke on the rice cereal? Is he allergic to wheat?

Will my toddler ever sleep through the night? Will they ever be out of diapers?  

Am I disciplining correctly? Enough? Too much? 

 Will I ever feel like myself again? Am I doing it right? Am I doing enough? 

Will my husband and I ever get a night out or just a night without a baby in between us?

What if she falls off of the bed, or down the stairs or through the cracks of life and I can't scoop, soothe and pick up the pieces?

What if...

Does that sound familiar? I know it does for me.

Sometimes we can get downright silly with the things we fear, but often those fears, even the seemingly silly, are serious to our mama hearts. They represent a crossroads of our faith that can either leave us dependent on our own strength or clinging to the cross weak and needy for Christ.

This world is fallen and broken and there is reason enough to fear. God never makes a claim in Scripture that the world isn't a frightening place. In fact His whole plan for redemption hinged on the fact that sin has made the world and our future apart from Christ a very scary thing. He repeats over and again that the world is scary, but He is mighty to save and mighty to rescue us from fear, doubt and a try-so-hard to control it all mindset.

The Old Testament is full of amazing stories and women who chose brave living over fear. Mother Sarah laughed when she was told that she would bare a son in her old age. She set out by Abraham's side and I am sure that the fear and all the unknown dared to overwhelm her at times, but God calls her faithful and calls us to be like her in her courageousness.  

Sarah's courage was not one that she conjured up. No, her courage was something God gave her and did in her when she was weak to believe and obey. His faithfulness buoyed her along and allowed Sarah to cling to Him rather than her own fears about the present and future.

If we want to be fearless mamas we have to start by admitting that we are not in control. Our best efforts to schedule, train and serve our children are only as strong and certain as our trust in God's goodness to us through Christ.  

That is the place that we start. We start the path to fearlessness by admitting our fear and inability to control it all. Fear shrinks back before Christ's faithfulness. He is faithful to meet us in our weakness.

{Take a moment to ponder Psalm 27:1. Write it out on a notecard and put in somewhere that is visible. Ask yourself what you fear? Take a moment to pray and leave those worries and fears at the feet of Jesus and then continually lay them down each time they creep up throughout the day by clinging to Psalm 27:1}