Day 16: Raising Fearless Children (Part 2)

When my husband and I found out we were having our first child we began to talk about our hopes and dreams for her. I say "her" because from the time that the line turned pink on the test my husband was convinced it was a girl. What can I say? He was right. Of all the things we talked about at the top of our list was that she (and any other children God might bring into our family) would be fearless.

We have had the joy of being around a lot of kids over the years, both our nieces and nephews as well as many folks who have welcomed us into their families. We have seen all kinds of children. Nerds, jocks, princesses, shy gals, rambunctious boys and Carrhart wearing little rednecks (those might just be my favorites), but the common thread that I have seen woven into my favorite kiddos (yes, I can have favorites because I'm not their parents) is that they have a fearless streak.

One time my nephew hit a tree filled with yellow jackets with a baseball bat. He was told not to and he did it anyway. He got stung. He screamed. He learned. After all was said and done and we determined he was not allergic the adults laughed. He was curious about cause and effect and was just bold (or stupid, yes, I can say it was stupid, but don't let my nephew hear me say that) enough to give it a try. I'm not applauding his disobedience, but I am applauding his curiosity and boldness.

We are a nation of "no!"when it comes to our kids.

No, Timmy don't touch that.
No, Timmy don't do that.
No, Timmy don't go there.
No, Timmy don't say that. 
No, Timmy don't play with those kids.  

We tell them not to explore unless it is within the safest confines possible. The result is that we eventually have children that make poor choices and run head long into the worst and most dangerous of situations because of lack of judgement. We don't teach wisdom we teach risk management. 

I'm not parenting expert. Please don't hear me as someone preaching from a high and lofty position. I'm only a fearful daughter of the bravest and most noble of Kings. He says not to fear and so I'm falling on His grace to live fear free and to parent that way.

We have to be careful that the prohibitions that we put on our children aren't out of our own distrust of God and needless fears. Again we have to set boundaries, but what if our boundaries aren't boundaries, but cages that lead ourselves and our children to live isolated, anxiety-filled lives? If we raise kids who are fearful then their response to life and even more important to God will be:

No God, I can't go there.
No God, I can't do that. 
No God, I can't love that person,
No God, I can't say that. 

If I want my kids to live a life of obedience to God that means I guide them toward fearless living. Parenting is a sanctifying work not of ourselves, but of God. As I teach my daughter to be fearless I am learning how to let go of fear and anxiety. A work that is certainly not my own! The key to raising fearless children is learning to fear less myself.

How have you let your own fears affect your children? How have you worked to raise children who are wise, but also brave? 

 Tomorrow: Day 17: Fearing Less