Dear Weary Mom, You're Not a Bad Mama

Dear Weary Mom, 

Say it with me, "I'm not a bad mama. I'm a good mama who had a bad day."

Sometimes it feels like we're bad moms having bad days...make it weeks...make it years. 

We all know those days, the days that we wished were over about 30 seconds after they began. The days when the dishes are a soggy pile, the toddler is cranky, the husband brought up that fill in the blank again and we are frazzled and frayed at the edges. Our temper runs short and our patience runs shorter and if one more person asks us for one more thing we just might walk out the door and keep on walking.

But we don't. We stay and we grit teeth and we lock ourselves in the bathroom to type out blog posts {ahem} or breathe deep or bury our face in our hands for a quick sob all before picking up the dirty towels off the floor and picking ourselves up from our pity party.

We are the brave mamas who keep rising early to meet the dawn shadows and chase them away with the power of the Word. Don't neglect to chase the shadows with the Word. We keep picking up and looking up and trusting that in all our weakness He is making us strong and in so doing making our little ones strong in Him.

Our days can be bad, but our lives can be good because He is good and gives us His goodness in Jesus. There will be colossal moments of mama failure that will always stick with us, but God can take all those wish-I-could-have-a-do-over moments and turn them into moments that God made my not enough whole and beautiful.

Go have that cry. Don't hold it in because it will hold you back. You will stew in disappointment and frustration until you do. Learn to kickbox. Zumba till you can't zumba anymore. Do something to shake the cobwebs away from your soul and then hug your babies, kiss your husband deep and move on.

Say it again, "I'm not a bad mama. I'm a good mama who had a bad day."

Dear Weary Mom, Don't Listen to the Lies

Dear Weary Mom,

I busted my finger last week- as in got a hangnail then an infection and next thing you know I have an elephant-man-like finger in the middle of my right hand and I'm stuffing my hand deep into my pocket to avoid scaring small children. In the scope of life a small thing, but somehow it has felt huge and weighty. Somehow this antibiotic requiring infection has blown itself into something that makes me feel less than and incapable.

Do you know what I mean? Have you been there too? 

One minute you are hanging on for dear life making the ends meet as best you can and then the next minute you feel like it just isn't enough. Nothing you do is enough and all you can see are the cracks.

Maybe it is a stomach virus that wipes the floor with you or an argument with the husband that leaves you feeling like a failure and fake. Maybe it is simply words tossed thoughtlessly, a cranky child or a glimpse of dust bunnies under the couch. Whatever it is that sets the snowball of self doubt rolling we all know how quickly it can grow into an avalanche.

You see, we've got an enemy and he prowls around looking for us to mutter words to ourselves that aren't true. He listens for those words and then he whispers them over and over again verbatim into our ear and right down deep into our hearts if we let him. Boy, have I let him.

You're a failure. 
Just give up. 
Your family would be better off without you. 
You are worthless. 

He is the father of lies. The most evil villain there is and he is out to steal joy and hope and it will be stolen if we aren't running toward the truth.

Sister, when you see the cracks, crack open the Word. I know that you won't want too. I know that you'll feel like it won't help someone like you. Lies, again, all lies.

Jesus says that in Him you are enough. You are made perfect, clean and whole and so those dust bunnies, that rebelling teen, that infected finger...Give them all to Him. The one who says, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me..." {MSG} 

You see religion means to be bound up to a set of rules and rituals. We can make a religion out of motherhood and it can nearly choke us to death. Christ calls us forward into grace and freedom. His Word calls us out of our pit of self-loathing.

Can't you hear His whisper now? It is gentle and full of love.

It sings grace for the moment, grace for the little that explodes into the big, grace enough for the weariest mama heart.

{I'm joining up with Hope for the Weary Mom today for their Dear Weary Mom, link-up.}

Weary Mom, If It's Hard You're Doing It Right

Dear Weary Mom,

I wish you could've seen my house two days ago. Dishes sitting in the sink way too long, and rings of disgusting in the toilet and toys strewn throughout our tiny home just waiting to find the center of your foot when you stumble through the living room at 2am toward a crying toddler.

You know. I know you know.

Today is better. I managed to unload the dishwasher just so I could re-load it. Oh, how I hate unloading the dishwasher. All I know is that there aren't dishes in the sink, the bathrooms aren't bio-hazard level dirty and most of the toys have been cleared from the center of the floor. It all seems like a small miracle.

This is a moment. A small moment of stillness in a sea of crazy. A small moment where the hamster wheel slows and I catch my breath. Like that break between contractions. Motherhood is labor and the breaks are few, but just enough so that we can nod to those around us and keep going. Sometimes that is all we get before the week is over and we start all over again.

I heard on the radio the other day a story about the changing roles of men and women in the home and workplace. One of the mothers in the story referred to her desire for a "more challenging career" outside of the home and I had to swallow hard and ball fists tight to keep from erupting in anger. Don't get me wrong, I support working mamas. I'm not arguing about that. I support every one of us who has carried babes in bellies, in hearts and on hips.

I just don't support pitting work against calling.

If motherhood isn't challenging you're not doing it right.

I'm not talking about the laundry and the dishes. Yes, that is a challenge on some days...ok, most days for me, but what I am talking most about is the raising of little people into big, whole hungry-for-Jesus-people. That is a challenge that keeps me on my knees and up later than I should be. 

We're always concerned about if we are mothering "right" and I've said over and over again to anyone who will listen that I don't think there is a "right" way and that all I know is that motherhood is hard. Really hard. All I know is that motherhood is hard, but Jesus is our help.

He calms angry seas and angry teens. He left us His peace and He picks up our pieces.

Weary Mom, if it's hard, you're doing it right.

This post is a part of the all new link-up over at Hope for the Weary Mom. Visit the site and read the other encouraging posts this week!