Days 30 & 31: Fearless is a Verb

I failed. I didn't get up my 31 days in 31 days. I meant to, but then all the things I fear swept over me and it got really dark around here for a few days. Does that surprise anyone? I've been talking about this spiritual battle that fear is. I was riding above the fray feeling rather untouched by fear until fear cracked the surface and crashed my world for a couple of weeks. 

Here are my last two days in combination and a big announcement!

Days 30 & 31: Fearless is a Verb

The only way to be fearless is to fear less.

You don't become fearless sitting still.

Fearlessness doesn't just happen.

Fearless shouldn't be an adjective. It should be a verb. It is action.  It is facing down the lion of fear with the Lion of Judah in real time.

Two weeks ago I looked at the husband and said, "I'm just afraid I'm going to get sick before Allume". He looked back and told me to stop thinking that way. He knows me all too well. I have a powerful mind. I've never been hypnotized, but I bet it wouldn't be hard. The power of suggestion in my life is well...powerful. I got sick the next day.

This is how it went down. 

The husband left on Tuesday for a business trip. We were leaving Thursday for Allume. Thursday I was feeling about 75%, but the babe was now sick...I left for Pennsylvania with a sick babe in arms. One flight that was covered in prayer and survived with the help of a sweet friend. Big sigh...we made it to PA, but we were a bit ragged. I thought that I could rest easy, but at dinner there went my voice.

I thought I was on the upswing, but no. I lost my voice. Did I mention I had to read a post...my own shaky writing...to a hundred or so bloggers the next night? Yes, and I no longer had voice. I didn't talk the next day. I mimed and squeaked out a word or two occasionally. I sought refuge in my room while my dear friend took the sniffling babe out on a walk. The same sniffling babe that wouldn't sleep the night before and woke up at 4:30 that morning...I was struggling. I scribbled my heart and God's words out onto paper and that night I read them to a room full of women that I just admire to the moon. I read without a voice.

The next day I felt better, but then here comes this hurricane barreling up the east coast. God is good and we slipped into the air ahead of the storm in the wee hours of Sunday morning. The wee one slep the whole way. Great golly Moses what a blessing. We were on the ground and home before the first drops of rain even fell. I got home and was feeling better until Monday and a stomach virus. Yes, a stomach virus. We had plans to visit the NC coast while the hubs worked a project there, but in the end he drove 12 hours round trip alone while I lay on the floor with a baby crawling over and around me.

That is what I feared. All of it. The sickness. The voice losing. The reading my heart words to a room full of ears. More sickness. The time alone without the husband. Oh, and need I remind you about my fear of flying? Hmmph...

It happened and I survived, but I'd be lying if I said I thrived in the midst of all of it.

I went to a place really dark when I got back from Allume. God watered some huge dreams during the conference. Writing dreams that I am just now feeling brave enough to begin to pen, but when I returned home sick and tired it all just seemed like an insurmountable dream. Everything just seemed to hard and scary.

I'm happy to say that the light has broken in thanks to the healing balm which is sleep, good food, God's Word and time with my family. 

What I'm trying to say with this real-life-fear-fest is that I'm not fearless yet. In fact I don't believe that we can be fearless on our own or permanently in this life. The most we can do is cling to God's Word and the truth that He speaks over our broken lives. The most we can do is invite Christ to take our fears away when they knock hard at the door and threaten to consume us. Every moment spent in fear has a direct correlation to some {strange at times} mercy that God was pouring out His goodness through.We have to train our eyes to see His mercy in the nooks and crannies of life.

This journey to fearless-ness begins in fear not on the other side of it. I struggle with fear alongside of each and everyone of you, but by God's grace we'll live with fear under our feet. Trampled by the Gospel alive in our hearts.

Thanks for reading 31 Days to Fearlesss. I hope you are feeling a bit braver. Here is the big announcement! 31 Days to Fearless is being edited and will be available as a PDF for purchase in a few short weeks!