All Grown Up and Full of Light {My Compassion Sponsorship Story}

At eighteen I signed up to be a Compassion sponsor. She was a tiny thing and her deep brown eyes shown off the page and right into my heart. Her name was Charlotte and I could only imagine the scars left on her family following the all to recent Rwandan genocide.

My Rwandan daughter is now the same age as I was when I sent my first sponsorship check in. She's tall and always wears a Mona Lisa style smirk like she knows a secret. I just love her.

It's funny how my history has become entwined with Charlotte growing up. Since becoming her sponsor I've gotten married, moved all over including Africa, and had my first child. As she has grown so has our family and I'm glad that I've been able to share my life with her family half way around the world.

Time and again I receive simple letters full of gratitude and updates about what season it is and what her family is growing. They are never flashy, but I read between the lines and realize that her life is different because I chose to use my meager resources differently. My willingness to be her sponsor was an invitation to the very Light of God. 

When I decided to be a Compassion sponsor I remember having friends who questioned and discouraged me about it. I'm glad that I didn't listen.

There are places where only you can shine light. There are people that only your two hands can reach out toward. They are across the road and down the aisle and on the other side of the tracks or the world, but they are all within your reach.

Charlotte is a shining light herself now. I know that she's going to be a beacon in her community wherever God takes her.

This is my small story as a Compassion sponsor. It's not a plea for sponsorships- although I'm a big advocate for the work that Compassion does- but what I am asking is for you to look around and find big and small ways to chase light out into the open. Use your God given creativity and the opportunities that show up in your daily life to find those in darkness and shine the Light of God into their lives.

Why I Think You Should Have Kids...Or Not...

Lately I've heard a lot of talk about why to have kids...or not...or why to wait to have kids...or not...and I've thought and thought about the discussion and what I could add to it...or not.

My hubs and I waited six years to have our first wild and crazy kiddo. Our waiting was purposeful. I was in school and then we knew we wanted to test the waters of living overseas before we made the leap with both feet and a couple of kiddos.

I'm glad we waited. I'm glad WE waited.

I'm not making any claims on the value of waiting. That's our story. God's story on our lives.

Here are a couple of things that I know for sure about having children at any point.

Children are a blessing from God.

Don't look at our culture. There are people on the internet {who I refuse to link to} who will try and convince you otherwise. Television and the interwebs will try and sway you with their Armageddon beckoning tales of life as you know it ending. They will dismiss and devalue raising tinies into big people and the work and effort that takes. Don't give them credence.

Will your life change? Um, yes. Are their people who have children who maybe shouldn't be parents? Everywhere. Everyday. But this doesn't change the fact that children are a blessing from God. A blessing. Every single snot nosed one of them.

Next.

Having children will change you.  

Think you're going to cruise into parenthood with your pre-child coolness still intact? {Cue every parent in the universe laughing at you} Tell that to yourself a year in when you realize you're eating something that your kid dropped on the floor or when you find that the reason you've been smelling poop is because it has been smeared on your foot for the last hour.

...and the coolness just drained out of you like a sieve.

There will be things that you give up. Dinner while it is still hot, quiet trips to the grocery store, quiet period actually, date night...any night, uninterrupted conversation with your spouse, clean...anything, reading a book meant for an adult, you get the point. Your gain is so much sweeter than any one let's on. Early morning snuggles, infectious laughter, baby socks, family dance parties, a little person with your shared DNA, eyes that wonder in ways that you've forgotten how, a whole new perspective, hope... 

But there are greater changes to be had. 

When we had our daughter it sent us for a loop. She didn't sleep. Ever. For over a year she didn't sleep and we didn't sleep either and we were cranky and cross and confused about how such a tiny person could contain so much energy to refuse sleep.

Having children will bring out all the ugliness in you. It will expose all the ugly places and the rough and cracked edges to the light and there will be times when all you will see is your own selfishness. It won't be pretty.

It will make you realize how content you were to not know these things about yourself. It will show you how much you liked a life where you felt in control and all you really had to worry about was yourself.

Might I suggest that maybe having children is part of the process for some of us of becoming more like Jesus. Let me restate that: "If God gives you children, and you lean into every exceedingly difficult and beautiful part  of it, it will be part of the process of you becoming more like Jesus."

A few weeks ago we were at a conference exhibiting and my husband and I were switching off wrangling our toddler. At one point I caught myself saying this out loud, "Thank you Millie for being a part of my sanctification." It was closely followed by something like "Don't climb on that" or "Shoes go on your feet" or "That isn't gum", but you get the point.

Don't not have children because you are afraid or downright unwilling to experience the change that it will bring. The change it will bring might just be the change you need. The exposing of your selfishness. The microscope on sin that is parenthood was meant to change us into more humble, needy followers of Jesus.

You will feel like you are failing at some point. Watch out for those places. That is where God meets you and shows you that parenting isn't about being perfect. It is about being perfected in Christ. 

The exact reason that parenthood is ineffably wonderful is the exact reason that parenthood is horrible, awful, scary and exhausting at times. It shows you your own need of Jesus while you're taking care of the needs of someone else. It keeps you on your knees and needy and that is where we have to be in order to really see Christ.

I know that some of you are reading this and longing for a child of your own. I don't give pat answers. I don't know if that is the way God will etch the lines of godliness onto you. I just don't know. You aren't any less without children. That isn't in the Bible and that is not the heart of this post nor the heart of God.

What is in the Bible is the truth that there is no condemnation for those in Christ. I pray that God gives you children if that is your heart's desire, but if He doesn't pursue His calling on your life and you will find the blessing and peace of knowing Him which is immeasurably precious and valuable in this life.

If you're on the fence about having children. Don't be.

I already said it. Children are a blessing. Children will change you.

If you can believe that children are a blessing then don't be afraid of how having children will change you. There are a lot of reasons to not have children and I won't tell you that without question you should have children. What I will say is that maybe what you need is change. I know that is what I needed and what God is doing in me through my daughter.

What a blessing. Change never felt so good.

{Maybe you're no where near having kiddos of your own. Consider sponsoring a child through Compassion International. I became a sponsor of a girl in Rwanda a couple years before my husband and I got married. She'll turn 18 this year and I'm so glad that I can call her daughter. Read more about the journey that a few bloggers have been on in Uganda this week as they have seen up close and personal the work of Compassion International.}


 

What a Little Really Can Do

I sat down on a rainy Sunday. The day that we pull blankets up over the head after church and cuddle down for a long winters nap. I pulled up the page and I broke the bank open for the least of these. It wasn't much. I won't pretend. Our finances are stressed, buckling and bowing under the weight of bills and the unexpected costs of life. I know many of you understand.

What I think many of us miss is that our little can really do much. Take a moment. Calculate the total cost of all the gifts peaking out from under the tree. Is it more than $10? Is it more than $100? Is it more than $1000? I'm not making any judgments. I love when people give freely to those they love. I love giving big. It is a genetic trait I think.

You might think that to make a difference with your gift you have to give big, but that just isn't true. Did you know that for a gift of $20 you can get parasite medication to five children? Maybe you don't think that is a big deal, but let me just say...It is. When we lived in Liberia we saw bulging, hungry bellies. Bellies filled not with food, but with worms and so so so empty. A child who is suffering malnutrition has even less of a chance when their bodies are ravaged by parasites.You can be a blessing to five children and provide medicine that can change their lives and help them not just survive, but to thrive with the help of Compassion International.

Five children for $20.

What about $10 for seeds for a family? This gift just keeps on giving. Your gift will grow into food that can nourish a family, a community, and can bring a bit of income to the poorest of poor. If you are thankful for every sweet potato casserole and every pumpkin pie on you holiday table then crack the wallet and provide a feast for a family that is served by Compassion.

A garden of seeds for $10. 

I am asking for my readers to give $100 worth of gifts. Just $100 between all of you that read these ramblings. Share a comment about what gift you chose to give or shout it out loud on my brand new facebook page. Could we give $100? Maybe even dare to give $1000? Break your bank, big or small, for the least among us. Does Aunt Rita really need those new clip on earrings? Wouldn't she rather have a goat given in her honor to a kid in Rwanda?

*Disclaimer: I receive nothing in return for promoting the work of Compassion International and asking you to donate to their catalog campaign. I simply believe in the Gospel and the ministry of mercy and I trust Compassion's work among the world's poorest. 

Compassion Bloggers: It's About Giving.

I remember the year that eleven packed our three (tiny) bedroom, one bath house. This wasn't an overnight. It was months of living cramped nose to nose with another family. My mom knew that whatever was given would be received ten fold. She never tired of giving. She taught me that to give deep you have to dig deep.

We dug deep that year to encircle a family who had lost everything. 

She was notorious for buying a weeks worth of groceries for an unsuspecting family or picking up a lavish gift to surprise a friend. She believed the Gospel and scraped our budget clean to make sure that it made it to the ends of the earth on her dime. She was a light and her gifts were the beacon. A ray of hope to those walking through dark times.

I have her genes in my body, but I'm not nearly the giver that she was. I suppose you can give freely when you know that the little you have isn't your's anyway. I think I'm still working that truth out. I freely admit that I can get wrapped up in the wrapping up of gifts and online deals {I'm an etsy addict}. I am a giver so the idea of scheming the perfect smile inducing gift is a joy to me.

I'm not completely off base. It is about giving. This season is ALL about giving.

It's about the One who gave ALL.

The baby born to give all so that we might have all in Him. Ponder that thought deep. Then ponder the contents of your pocket book. Is it a meager sum? Mine is beyond meager this year, but the sum still leaves some and I truly want to give that some to the least of these among us. If you believe the grand story of our Savior then believe this one thing more, your gift is meant to be re-gifted. It's all about giving. Give it all to show mercy, share the Gospel and shower love in the name of Christ this season.

Want to make change with your meager change? Dig around in your couch cushions, look under your car seat and make a difference with whatever you find! Then click on over to the Compassion Christmas catalog and see what you can do with your findings! Give all you have this season in the name of Christ.

 

Compassion Bloggers in Peru

I'm a big fan of Compassion International. I began supporting my Rwandan daughter 8 years ago. This past April "Charlotte" as I call her turned sweet 16. I'm overjoyed at the way Compassion has grown and stretched the bounds of social media to bring the stories of Compassion children into our hearts and homes. Children just like my sweet Charlotte who need sponsors just like you...and you...and you...and you...Join a few Compassion bloggers as they journey to Peru to love on the least of these. You can join a twitter chat on November 14th with all the Compassion bloggers in Peru, hashtag #compassion.

Here is the team:
Shaun Groves
Angie Smith
Kevin and Layla Palmer
Jennifer Schmidt

Follow them November 13-17 in Peru!

Someone Chose Me

In a land that has known brutal ethnic war, genocide and instability the children of this generation face poverty and are in great need of the hope of Christ. Rwandan children need your hands and your heart to open to them in the name of Jesus.

How do I know?
A little girl told me once and it sounded a little like this...

Some years the sky doesn't rain for months. The ground is barren, dry and calloused like my father's hands. We grow sorghum, but sorghum doesn't fill the belly full. One season we can have plenty, but the next we might have little...not enough...not nearly enough for me and my sisters. There have been nights that I lay awake with a belly growling deep and days that the sun beat hot with no relief in sight.

There is only one thing that my family can depend on. 
This one thing is that someone, somewhere far from here cares enough to give. 

My father is a proud man. His face bares scars. Scars that he got during the bad time. He tells me he will tell me about it when I am old enough to hear. Judging by the way his hands shake and the tears that brim when he speaks of friends and family that I will never know I may never be old enough to hear.

He has worked this land like his father and his father's father. It is back breaking and though only forty he is bent and body worn. He tells us he prayed for sons. Sons that would shoulder his heavy load. Daughters have been his lot. He used to be angry, but Jesus softened his heart. He sees all our lives as gift and praises God for it all. He didn't used to do that. It wasn't until a woman from the Compassion child development center came to our door and told my father about a place where his children could go and find hope and a future. He is not a man who has known hope. He knows that for me and my sisters our future is limited. Our future might not even exist if the rains fail and our crops don't make it to market.

The woman said that we would each get a sponsor. A person who would provide the money for us to go to the center where we would receive education and learn about Jesus. We asked her how long it would take for us to have sponsors. She said, "I don't know, but I hope soon". We waited...and waited...and waited...each day long...each day wondering if someone across oceans {what does an ocean look like?} with money to spare might pick us as their children.

Someone chose me. 

I don't know how. I really don't. She started out as one person. Then one day she wrote me about her wedding. They send letters and I see pictures of their cat and now they have a little girl and she has big brown eyes like me...so, I guess we really could be sisters. They tell me in writing and a language that I can't read that Jesus loves me and has a plan for me. I eventually began to believe them and the more that I heard about this Jesus the more I got excited because it meant if they see me, these people from who knows where, then Jesus must see me too. I tell my father and he agrees and we decide to go to church and mama comes and she sings like an angel and even more beautiful when it is to Jesus and...oh, I get so excited because I know that even when my belly growls there is a God who hears and He provides and has provided and I want everyone to know it.

What I don't understand is why there are still children here in Kayonza who don't have sponsors. Jesus loved children...our teachers tell us this. They tell us that He would play with them and cuddle them in His lap and He dared anyone to turn one of them away. Still there are children who wait. I don't know if there are other people like my sponsors, but if there are...please, don't wait any longer. 

My sponsorship story:
I started sponsoring my Rwandan daughter, Charlotte, when I was 19 years old. She was 8. Since that time I've gotten married, lived in Africa (Liberia) myself, and had a beautiful biological daughter. I don't know how Charlotte would write out her story. I would love to know. She'll be 17 this coming April. She has a hope and a future because God gave me the opportunity to give and I jumped at it. I've got no regrets and I don't think you will either.

Sponsor a child through Compassion International and be the hands and feet of Christ.