(in)motherhood Link-Up: What Every New Mama Should Know

Once a month the bloggin' gals from the (in)courage community group's new mama's group (aka (in)motherhood) join up together to blog about the same topic. This month our topic is "One thing that you think every new mama should know" or if you're a first time mother-to-be "Your biggest question about becoming a mom for the first time". If you're visiting from outside of the (in)motherhood group feel free to join in! We're happy to have you!

Link-up and grab the group's button from the bottom of this post!



At 3:32am on January 9, 2012 I birthed a little girl right out into this beautifully broken world and all the brokenness that was a mama lost got sewn right up with the tear. These babes of ours, the ones that keep us awake from birth and every night after are the most hopeful thing that will ever happen to you.

Every new mama needs to know that becoming a mama will leave no place in your soul untouched. 

Becoming a mama will hurt and the job is anything but easy (don't believe the glossy ads), but it will also make you more whole than you ever knew if you let God work grace in you and through you to it's fullest.

When I lost my mama some of the life in me leaked out. It leaked out love and it left a hole gaping that I had no idea about. I've muddled through life and marriage and found my way as Christ did all the work to make my mama-less half a heart whole. This girl who came into the world super-woman style has been God's means of healing the secret parts I didn't eve know were broken, busted to pieces. A healing that was years in the making, the making of a new mama into a new woman, the making of me more like His Son through my very own daughter. The life that had leaked out was patched up right at the source by her little life and God has been re-making me through this journey of motherhood.

Some of you mamas-to-be are walking stooped under loss, insecurity, and fear. Those struggles won't go away once you are a mama. No, in fact when they place your babe on your bare chest you might feel hollow and helpless. The other thing you need to know is that you can't do this motherhood thing alone and apart from Christ you are hollow and helpless. If you hug close this truth you will embrace motherhood and all its ups and downs that turn us inside out.

Motherhood inducts you into a line of uncountable mothers before and this heritage of motherhood is meant to be shared. Share it with mamas young and old and what you'll find is that you aren't alone. You share the same calling and you share the same struggles and we all do things differently, but we all love the same. Motherhood makes us more alike than different and the more we embrace that the more we will be Christ's hands and feet to each other.

What every mama should know is that motherhood has less to do with raising children and everything to do with making us more like Jesus.

Grab the (in)motherhood button code!
 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/incouragers-new-moms"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtIJOQq96roJxJLi-lwMGsU5xmi40Vft6M8h6ELoUU0pgxjwX8h3ae_fN3Op-aqWUVwVNwVK2EKIG0BgRNVBA2JaZC4xnItgSzErmrHRLSYGDEtYIhVwqZo-jBCXtsEm3bOHWR1LPlCWx/s1600/incourage-motherhood.jpg" /></a></div>

(in)motherhood Link-Up: Motherhood in the Trenches

This is the the first of three (in)motherhood Link-ups for this session of (in)courage community groups. Even if you aren't a member of (in)motherhood we would love to hear what you have to say. We're all about doing the messy and the glorious of motherhood together.

Today's link-up topic is on what motherhood looks like in your life right now, what motherhood looks like in the trenches of everyday life. Are you buried under a pile of baby socks and dirty diapers? Do you feel like you might just explode with love for your new little one? Are you feeling alone and small in the midst of the everyday? Has it been harder than you expected and you're feeling discouraged? Do you miss being able to see your feet over your expectant belly? Are you struggling to keep it together during the long days and up all nights? Does God feel nearer and bigger now that you are a mama or are you having trouble hearing Him over your baby's cries?

Use words, pictures, video, whatever you need to give us all a glimpse of what motherhood is for you right now, right where you are and link-up here to share the view.

Ok, here is my view from the trenches of motherhood...

"No! NO! No maam',no,no,no,no,no!" I hear myself say that word a thousand times a day. The wee one looks at me big eyed, babbles something indecipherable and grins. If I could understand a single word she might be in big trouble. God made little ones cute for a reason and it saves their lives again and again. We've finally got a routine and I'm learning that with Millie nothing is routine. Every stumbly step is an adventure and every drawer/basket/box/shelf is just waiting to be pillaged. My instinct is to say "no" because it makes me think that I am keeping her safe. Truth is I'm just trying to keep myself sane.  I always told myself I would be a "Yes!" mama a mama that says "Yes!" to messy and "Yes!" to adventure. In reality it is way harder. All I see is the impending mess and a daddy who works hard to make our life possible but often comes home late and sometimes I am weary of it all.

It seems as if overnight we went from itsy bitsy baby to toddler. These days are simultaneously the best and the hardest. Doesn't the stage you find yourself in always seem like the hardest? Maybe not the hardest, but always a different hard with different joys and hurdles. There is a new found sense of independence that is coursing through her limbs and she is not a fan of holding mama's hand or having anything done for her. She defies the laws of physics with her ability to stay upright when her legs are moving to fast and her balance is anything but balanced. If it is quiet I wonder what she is doing, if it is noisy...I wonder what she is doing. It can all be a bit coo-coo inducing. But then there is her laugh and those four teeth that she smiles with from ear to ear. There is her stubborn streak and this new wasteland called tantrums that we are exploring. Let the journey be short, please, dear Lord, please. I'm not a fan of Tantrumland.

All the while I'm trying to learn how to set boundaries. How do I make the boundaries broad so she can run free within their walls? It doesn't make sense to just let her do whatever her heart wishes. It would mean disaster and a house fire I am relatively certain. At the very least it would mean a backed up toilet (because clearly the entire roll of toilet paper needs to be shoved inside). No, I have to say that some things are off limits not only for safety, but for sanity. The "Yes!" mama has to be a "No." mama some times and learning where that line lies is proving more difficult than I had ever imagined.

My "Yes!" has to be lived out right before her eyes. My "Yes!" is the life she sees me lead. Do I say "Yes!" to God without question? Do I know that there is no "NO!" in Christ? There is only yes, and yes and yes, God you are enough. Yes God, we will follow. Yes God, we will trust. Yes God, we believe in your provision. We have to be a "Yes!" family. A family that says yes to God and no to things that make us trust our own wisdom.

I'm reminded that this motherhood thing is hard and that it's for my sake that it is hard. These long days of motherhood are making up the short years of life and I get one God ordained, blessed and holy opportunity to show my little girl what "Yes!" to Jesus looks like. I'm feeling the weight of that blessing these days. I'm feeling that I'm on holy mothering ground and the stretching and molding I am feeling is as much for me as it is for her. 

Share a tweet about your "Motherhood in the Trenches" post by using hastag #inmotherhood !

Grab the (in)motherhood button code!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/incouragers-new-moms"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtIJOQq96roJxJLi-lwMGsU5xmi40Vft6M8h6ELoUU0pgxjwX8h3ae_fN3Op-aqWUVwVNwVK2EKIG0BgRNVBA2JaZC4xnItgSzErmrHRLSYGDEtYIhVwqZo-jBCXtsEm3bOHWR1LPlCWx/s1600/incourage-motherhood.jpg" /></a></div>

(in)motherhood: A Letter to My Daughter

I'm a part of a new mama's community group, (in)motherhood), through the incredible (in)courage <---------- site. All of us new mama bloggers are linking together this week to share letters to our children. Letters that we hope will inspire our children to live life to the fullest. Enjoy!

Dear Millie, (Amelia, Amelia Grace, Millie Grace, Amazing Grace, Millipede, Millfred, etc...)

I'm writing this to you because I know I won't always say the things that are deepest in my heart. There will be days when your hard head and your mama's even harder head bump bruises against one another. You're 9 months old and that is clear already. You, my daughter, are a lot like your mother. I'd apologize if I didn't know wholeheartedly that God makes no mistakes in the way He creates us.

I ache over the fact that you'll never know my mama, your grandma, we'll call her grams for short. Grams would have loved you to the moon and back. She would have bought you toys and given you ice cream all as your mama would be telling her that she is spoiling you. You would have loved her. There will be days when you see your mama's heart spill tears...just know that I miss my mama, and wish you could know her and give your own mama hugs and kisses will you?

I want you to know one big, huge thing in this life; nothing matters more than Christ. NOTHING. NOTHING. I hope that this fact dictates your every move. 

You're a wild woman. You came out wide-eyed and you've hardly closed your eyes these past nine months. You never tire of seeing, doing, experiencing and I hope that you never do. You're fiercely independent and tenacious. These are amazing gifts and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I have a feeling you'll need these if you choose to follow God's lead. Here's the thing, people will tell you, heck, I will tell you to color in between the lines, do what you're told, don't ask questions. There is a time and place to do that and wisdom will teach you when that is, but for the most part...don't listen to us. Love Jesus with all your heart and run wildly, crazily, with abandon in the direction of Him. If there is one thing you stubbornly run after let it be the Gospel.

When we struggle against one another and you run to your daddy because you believe that he loves you more, know that he doesn't love you more...just different and you need both.  You need your daddy's protection and silliness. He's a gem of a man and you'll see this more and more as you grow up. Look to Christ first and then look to your daddy. He's brave and crazy and loves Jesus and you couldn't ask for a better daddy, believe me.

Finally, you may not have a normal upbringing. We've chosen a missionary life and it is unpredictable to say the least. You may feel different and untethered at times. There may be days that you wish that you were like the rest of the kid your age. I felt this way when I was young. I still feel this way. That feeling might not ever go away. Embrace it and run towards the cross.

You are beautiful. You are made just the right way. You are loved beyond your understanding.

Run, don't walk, to the cross.

With all the love a mama's heart can hold,
Your Mama