The Choice of a Lifetime

Recently the video and story of a woman diagnosed with end stage brain cancer went viral. It has caused much heated debate because the woman, Brittany, is choosing to end her own life on her own terms. I watched the video and my reason for bringing it up is not political. It has been hotly debated and I've recoiled at some of the ugly spewing from people across the internet. 

I think that her desire to end her life before cancer does speaks to something deep about our journey on earth regardless of what we think of her choice. 

Every fitful scramble to cling to life is a clawing to get away from death. Death is the epitome of darkness. 

Who cares if we live forever if we live like the walking dead each day? 

We have bad days. I've had my fair share when all I wanted was grey skies and blankets thrown over my head to hide the tear stains on my cheeks.

Life is a choice. 

Choosing life is quite simply the choice of a lifetime either in the light or huddled in the dark.

We like to romanticize the idea of living "all in" when a terminal illness is diagnosed. Books, movies, songs are written about living full when death is knocking. I'd rather live grateful and heart full without a diagnosis looming. I'd rather live today while I still think I have tomorrow rather then staring down a timer while climbing Machu Picchu. 

Yes, death can come for us and steal our hope, our ability and our very breath, but death can never truly steal life. No, if death has our life in it's clutches it is because we opened our hands willingly and gave it away. 

I stir the cast iron pot full of soup and inhale the salty steam that rises. I'm feeding my family and in a small way feeding my soul. The weight of questions can weigh hard on any given day. The weight of the questions stirring in my soul, churning away in my mind daily. 

How do I live life full when some days drain me empty heart and soul?

I think of my friend Rachel with a future uncertain, and I watch in awe as she wrestles with the unknown and through tears clings to Hope. We cup mugs and we talk about marriage and we live today. He gives us just enough light for today. You can live in the light even when the darkness looms close.

Some day I might get a diagnosis and someone might say that I can choose my own day, my own way to die, but what does it matter if every day before I died to life, to beauty, to the joy in the mundane way light can shimmer warm through a window?  

That's the light. That's the life. We choose Jesus and His light not because it is easy. Giving into the darkness is always the easy thing. Choosing light will always be the path of most resistance. 

Today. How are you choosing life today? 

Over in Ann Voskamp's corner Kara Tippets shared words and a beautifully kind plea with Brittany. Kara is walking a similar road and clawing desperately to see God's grace in the midst of it all. I think you'll be blessed by her response.

DISCLAIMER: The link to the video at the beginning of this post is not an invitation to a political discussion. If you think it is then clearly you did not read the post. Please refrain from discussing the ethical and moral dilemmas presented in that video in the comments. This is a space for grace and wrestling with the hard. Failure to respect this request will result in a deleted comment. Thanks!